My Sordid Past

April 28, 2008

Sushi and the Single Girl

Sushi Many of you already know that I've been spending a lot of time on Twitter, especially between the hours of 2:00 and 3:00, when I am usually parked across the street from my daughter's school. Texting my "Twitter Peeps" over the phone makes that time go by quickly... and you never know what you'll find out.

Like last week, when Busy Mom announced that she had never tasted sushi. NEVER. As in, "not ever."

I told her that I found this mind boggling. I had heard rumors that sushi was not so prevalent in other parts of the country, but out here, it's everywhere. All the supermarket chains devote deli space to the stuff (and most have chefs behind the counter, making it fresh all day). All the food court malls have a sushi option, and it's common here to see little kids bellied up to the sushi bar with their parents.

As it turns out, Busy Mom's turn-off isn't so much that the fish is raw, but that it's fish. She doesn't eat seafood, and I can relate to that, because I have suffered from allergies since childhood. Sometimes (as in the case of white fish like cod, sole and halibut) my reaction is somewhat mild: tingling and/or swelling of my tongue and lips. But there was one time I ate something and I thought I was going to die.

The occasion was a visit to Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. I didn't think it would do too much harm to sample one of the little shrimp cocktails they sell in the stalls there. Huge mistake. My heart began to race and I felt like I couldn't breathe, and it lasted for a good long time.

Epi pens? I'd never heard of them. They may not have been invented yet. This was over 30 years ago, and needless to say, I have not had a bite of shrimp since.

So when sushi first became popular in SoCal, I kept my distance. The closest I came was buying a refrigerator magnet that looked like a miniature plate of the stuff. It was pretty.

At the time, the only fish I was certain I could consume without problems was tuna, and I wasn't about to try it raw. However, as a single gal living alone in the early '80's, keeping out of sushi bars was starting to impact my social life. The kicker was the day I interviewed Bay Area rocker Greg Kihn (who was promoting his hit, "The Break-Up Song." Yes, that's how long ago this was).

I guess I should mention now that my first job out of college was really cool: I worked for a radio syndicator, where I wrote and (eventually) produced a weekly Top 30 countdown show. It didn't pay well, but I got perks in the form of free records, concerts, and the opportunity to chat with about half the people who made the Billboard Hot 100 between 1980 and 1983.

The problem was, even though I had a cool job, I wasn't anythng close to cool: I've always been the same geeky person you know today -- only worse, because I was young, naive, a total fan -- and self-aware enough to know it. As much as I tried to project the image of a young hipster, it didn't work.

I'm pretty sure some of the artists I interviewed tried to flirt with me, but I was too stupid to recognize it. Instead, I focused on trying to be "professional," and the next day, while transcribing my tape, I would wonder why the guy I was talking to had suddenly started telling me how his wife or girlfriend didn't understand him (as if I was a therapist).

I don't think that was the case with Greg Kihn, but I definitely think he had become bored with the interview, because about halfway through my questions, he cut the session short.

"My friends and I are going out for sushi. Do you want to come?"

"No thank you," I replied automatically. "I'm allergic to fish."

D'oh! The interview was over, I only had about half the material I needed for my show, and I'd missed an opportunity that might have been fun (or at least given me a better anecdote to relate to you now that I'm middle-aged and terminally uncool).

But it was a catalyst. At the time, I lived in an apartment in Studio City, just a short walk from Ventura Boulevard. Today, people think of that part of town as "Sushi Row," because that stretch of the Boulevard is home to at least one sushi joint per block. In 1981, there were about a half dozen places to choose from, and so one night, I went into one of them and sat myself down at the bar.

"I'm allergic to fish," I told the sushi chef. "What can I have?"

He thought for a minute and then got creative. He made me a hand roll out of rice, cucumber, pickled burdock and grilled chicken, and it was delicious. I also sampled his cucumber roll, futomaki and tamago (which is a kind of sweet egg omelet, traditionally ordered at the end of a sushi meal).

I decided I sitting at the sushi bar. For one thing, eating Lean Cuisine alone in my apartment had gotten old. I had taken to eating alone in restaurants a couple of nights a week, so I could take in the energy of being among people -- and dining solo at the sushi bar was a lot less awkward than getting a table for one.

I returned a few more times to the same restaurant before I felt comfortable enough to suggest going there together with some friends. That's when I learned that if you buy your sushi chef a drink, he will often reward you with a langniappe - a little something extra, at no charge. With the first drink, we got some edamame (boiled soybeans - yummy!) ... the second drink brought us some tsunemono (a salad of pickled vegetables, often with some seafood, which I picked out and gave to my friends)...

Of course, every time we bought the chef a drink, we'd ordered another round for ourselves. So by the time the waitress brought me my third hot sake, I was feeling pretty good (inhibitions? What inhibitions?). And so when the chef rewarded our third drink with a gift of baby squid, I said "what the hell?" And I ate them.

And a funny thing happened: nothing. I discovered that night that I'm not allergic to squid. I also sampled a friend's California roll and found out that I'm not allergic to crab. Over time, I learned that raw tuna (especially in spicy tuna rolls) tastes WAY better than Starkist, and that I like yellowtail and salmon, too. I am still, however, allergic to all kinds of white fish, and keep the hell away from shrimp and lobster. I'm certain I am avoiding foods that I could consume without harm, but the memory of that long ago shrimp cocktail keeps me from being too adventurous -- I mean, why take that risk?

By the time I met the man I eventually married, sushi (which is low in fat and high in protein) had become my favorite cuisine. So of course, I suggested it for our first date. I learned later that he only went along with it to impress me. Like Busy Mom, he wasn't that in to the seafood, and the thought of eating it raw disgusted him.

But eventually, he learned to like the stuff. Love it, actually. In the years before our daughter was born, we frequented Teru Sushi so often (as much as three times per week) that we used to get invited to their customer appreciation parties. Alas, it is amazing what a baby and a mortgage do to your disposable income. Sometimes I wonder if all the weight I gained in the ensuing years was due to cutting all that sushi out of my diet.

Today, Japanese food is about the only cuisine the entire family can agree upon, and that includes my daughter who (I wonder why this keeps coming up?) won't eat seafood (even though she has grown up going to sushi bars with us). So I was confident when I told Busy Mom that I would be happy to introduce her to sushi (and sushi-type food) when we meet at BlogHer his summer -- that's because several years ago, the concierge at the Westin St. Francis directed us to a nice, casual Japanese place that's Megan-friendly and within walking distance. I figure Busy Mom can have some cucumber roll, futomaki, and grilled dishes like chicken yaki-tori.

And if she drinks enough sake, who knows? She just might be ready for adventure.

March 07, 2008

Spring Cleaning

Yesterday, I decided that after losing so much weight, it was finally time to clean out my dresser and closet.

So I spent the afternoon boxing up just about everything I owned: a 20-year accumulation of clothing in graduated sizes.

I filled 10 bankers' boxes with old - and not so old - garments.

Parting with the "fat clothes" was easy. I was nearly giddy to be merrily stuffing the boxes with size 14 pants, ugly dress suits and tent-like cocktail dresses I had to buy for business socials, because t-shirts and jeans were inappropriate.

I filled one box with old maternity things, and wondered why I'd kept them for so long. After all, I finally accepted the fact that I'd never be pregnant again when I turned 47 -- five years ago. Why keep it? Could it be because I weighed as much as I did just before giving birth to my daughter? Was I thinking that these were the only things that would fit any more? I threw them into the box.

Much tougher were the items I'd been holding on to, just in case I ever got small enough to wear them again. Some are too big now. Others are so woefully out of fashion that even though they fit nicely now, I would probably never be able to wear them in public.

I had to say good-bye to the beautiful green jacket with the black velvet trim and gorgeous buttons, which I'd purchased in 1991 for a pitch meeting with Warner Brothers. My partner took a photo of me that morning, just before we went into the studio. I look happy; young and hopeful. We made our sale, and from that time on, I thought of that garment as my "lucky" jacket.

I don't remember the last time I was able to wear the thing, button it up and move my arms freely in it, as I did yesterday. It paired beautifully with my jeans. Then I noticed the deal killer: big hulking shoulder pads. I guess we were still wearing them in 1991! Even if I was handy with a needle or hired someone to remove them, the shoulders wouldn't hang right. I put the jacket in the box. Someone who IS handy will be excited with this find at the Salvation Army store.

I went through the same process with the gold lame dress I'd worn at the last party I'd attended as an employee of the Tonight Show. It was cutting edge at the time. Now, it just looks busy -- it has a funny bow, a weirdly-shaped skirt, and those ubiquitous shoulder pads. It went into the box.

I held on to a few items for sentimental reasons: Another Tonight Show party frock, its black lace turned royal purple by the passage of time... the black leather miniskirt my husband would like to see me wear again (which, at my age, will never happen -- in public, anyway)... the jacket I wore on our first date...

About the only garment I've kept all these years that I can proudly wear again was purchased back in 1992, for my brother-in-law's wedding. It's a filmy, pink and white floral print, and was a retro style then, so remains timeless now. I have to admit, it looks beautiful. So if I get invited to any formal garden parties, I'm in luck.

As for the rest of the spring and the coming of summer -- I haven't a thing to wear.

January 09, 2008

First Tag of '08: Weird and Random Things

Earlier this afternoon, I was hot to write a post about the $!^*$# driver who ran a stop sign just as I was making a turn. I turned vigilante and honked at her as she barreled down the residential street. She was way ahead of me when I saw her run the next stop sign. I honked again, long and loud.

The street curved and I lost sight of her (because she was doing like, 50 pn a 30 mph residential street), but she came back into view just as she reached the next stop sign, which she also ran. I honked again, even longer.

She was really far ahead of me when she reached the final sign on the street. I think I honked before she even hit the sign. This time, she came to a complete stop. And she waited for me to get about 10 car lengths behind her before she moved ahead -- at speed limit -- and made a left, finally getting away from me.

So the first Weird and Random Fact About Me -- as tagged by my friend Michelle (aka White Trash Mom) is this: I have been known to turn into a wild vigilante when I get behind the wheel.

Here are six more:

2. I was a theater kid in high school. OK, here's something even more horrifying: I was in a mime troupe. No wonder I never had any dates.

3. I met my husband in 1989. In a chat room. (Yes, we had them back then -- only they were on large online networks like CompuServe, or local bulletin board systems, which was the scene of that particular crime.)

4. Every time I've taken an aptitude test, I've scored high for ability in math. This would surprise anyone who has witnessed me panic when I have to work the snack bar at my daughter's gym. Opening and closing put me in a panic, because I have so much trouble counting the money and balancing the cash drawer.

5. In my Freshman high school guidance class, I had to take a test that showed my interests and my score for math was: less than 2%.

6. My mother tells me that my first words were in Spanish. That's because when I was nine months old, she took me back home to Havana so my grandparents could see me, and that's where I started to talk. Batista was still in power and Castro's revolution was just getting started. It would be the only time I came in contact with my paternal grandfather; he died a couple of years before Fidel allowed him to emigrate over here.

7. After that auspicious beginning, I can't speak Spanish now. I took three years in high school and one in college and can barely put together a simple sentence. But if my mom is telling stories about me to our Cuban relatives, for some reason, I can tell what she's saying and when she's exaggerating.

OK, so now I get to share the linky love (although the seven great bloggers below may not agree with the way I'm showing them my affection):

December 03, 2007

The Real 1970's

I actually managed to finish all the Chanukah shopping on Friday morning, and even had time to stop and enjoy a nice salad for lunch before getting my daughter from school.

That, my friends, is what I call Power Shopping.

Julie There was one item on Megan's list that she wants very badly and that I refuse to buy her: Julie, the latest historic doll from American Girl.

In the past, I've encouraged Megan's love affair with the American Girl line. I love the books that accompany the dolls, the fact that the characters are all decent, independent girls living in interesting times, and the authentic historic furniture and accessories that all help teach kids about our country's past. When she was in second grade, she received the introductory book for each of the characters. The one she loved best was Felicity, because she related to her spirit and sense of humor.

She received the doll on her next birthday, and over the last four years, it's made it easy for her grandparents to buy her something special. Felicity now has several changes of clothes, a bed, a chair, a wardrobe, and several replicas of Revolutionary War-era household items like a tea set and sewing kit. And when Megan got to study American history in school last year, she had a head start because she had read so many of the American Girl doll books (not just Felicity's, but the books that accompany the entire line).

So I don't object to the fact that Megan wants the doll. In fact, I think it's sweet. But she's now in middle school and about to turn 12. I do not want to force my kid to grow up too soon, but the fact is that she rarely touches Felicity any longer. Do I really want to spend $100+ on a new doll she'll play with a few times before outgrowing them once and for all?

But there's another reason I won't be buying the new Julie doll:

Julie is supposed to represent the year 1974.

That was when I turned 18.

When did I become so old that the era of my youth is now a historic period for an American Girl doll?

On top of that, a few years ago, I was joking with my sister that it would be great fun to do a parody of the American Girl catalog with a 70's doll, because that was such an unwholesome time. Think about it -- until the arrival of Julie, the last American Girl doll was Molly, who lived during World War II. There is a world of difference between the um, sophistication of teens in the 1940's and those in the '70's.

Ali_mcgraw That said, the folks who created Julie did a great job of recreating the era without making it inappropriate. Look at the crocheted cap the doll is wearing, a style that was popularized in 1970 by Ali McGraw in the movie, "Love Story" (a huge hit the year I started high school). I had a favorite one in a cranberry shade that I wore all the time.

Then there are Julie's furniture and accessories, all of which are eerily familiar to me. I swear I used to store my vinyl 45's in a case just like the one Julie has, and I stuck the same Ricki Ticki Stickers on my notebooks and and owned the same Day-Glo poster she's put on her locker. (As "The Brady Bunch" debuted the year I turned 13, I wouldn't have been caught dead with that one.)

And I can't be the only Boomer who would like to get my hands on the miniature cassette recorder (that looks EXACTLY like the one I used to use to tape songs off the radio) and tiny package of popped Jiffy Pop popcorn.

Of course, my satirical version of a 70's American Girl doll wouldn't be funny unless it came with some less wholesome knickknacks (let's just say they belong to Julie's older sister):

Decor: A big bushy fern in a macrame hanger. Macrame was big in the '70's.

An incense burner and incense. Patchouli was particularly popular, but I used to go for the fruity scents. My favorite was actually blueberry. I did use a patchouli scented shampoo back then.

A black light to make the Day Glo poster pop (I didn't have one. But I can remember desperately wanting one). And a Day Glo Jimi Hendrix poster, too.

Clothing: Back then, boys had to take at least one shop class while girls had to take home ec. My first sewing assignment in high school was a halter top! Halters were big in the 70's, and I liked the way I looked in my long Indian print halter dress, which I wore with a crocheted shawl. Everyone wore hip hugging low rider jeans with wide legs. And then there were the "hot pants."  These were very short shorts and very high fashion in the early '70's. I didn't own any, but my mom did and we were the same size back then, so I would borrow hers and wear them to school.

Stickyfingers Music: A copy of the Rolling Stones' "Sticky Fingers" album, complete with real working zipper. (Boy, do I wish I'd bought this in 1971 -- it's worth a fortune now!)

Eight-track tapes! We had a stereo receiver that played eight-tracks.

Getting Around: Car keys to a Pinto. Or its Chevrolet counterpart, the Vega. Actually, that was for kids who could afford a new car. Most of my friends at the time drove Corvairs -- the car referred to in the title of Ralph Nader's star-making book, "Unsafe at Any Speed." The vehicle was discredited and discontinued -- which means that by the time my friends and I were getting our drivers' licenses, they were REALLY CHEAP.

Recreation: Bottles of Annie Green Springs and Boone's Farm Apple Wine. (OMG - I just googled these and they still make the stuff. Yuck.)

Zigzag Drug paraphernalia -- even for kids who didn't do drugs, 'cuz it was the '70's and they would want to look "cool": A carburetor, bong, roach clip, poster of the Zig Zag man.

I remember going into Spencer Gifts in the mall (to price black lights), which is where I saw a candle that looked like a kilo of grass (and smelled like it, too). It was expensive ($5, which was a whopping amount for a novelty candle back then, but cheap for a kilo of marijuana).

Books (mostly snuck into room behind parents' backs): "Valley of the Dolls," "The Godfather," "The Joy of Sex" (actually used to read that one at the neighbors' place when I was babysitting -- after the kids had gone to bed - also "Naked Came the Stranger." I think those neighbors engaged in wife swapping and were soon divorced) and the most subversive of all: "A Separate Reality" by Carlos Castaneda and "The Illuminatus Trilogy."

Yeah. The less my daughter knows about what it was like for me to come of age in the '70's, the better. We'll stick with Felicity, the Revolutionary War American Girl. It's much safer.

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