Socal Mom by Donna Schwartz Mills

My BlogHer11 Highlights: My 72-Hour Girls Night Out

This year's BlogHer was big and overwhelming. The only way to tackle it is to identify the activities you most want to participate in and just accept the fact that you can't do everything.

So I sat in on the session my friend Erin moderated on cyberbullying (but missed the refresher course on writing skills). I cheered on the panel of "old school" bloggers (two of whom are friends I've been following almost since I started this one, back in 2003) -- but missed the "social media geek" sessions. I applauded my MOMocrats colleague Cynematic, who was the winner of the organization's first ever Innovator award (for the fabulous interactive, and got teary-eyed through the Voices of the Year presentation... but missed the second day keynote in favor of a poolside lunch with some of my favorite online women. 

And it was emotional to listen to a panel with Pulitzer Prize winning reporter Jose Antonio Vargas, who told his tale of "coming out" as an undocumented immigrant.

Fortunately, this year they've got complete, word-for-word transcripts online, so I can catch up on everything I missed! (They've come a long way since 2005, when I attempted to live blog the events and managed to get the gist of it, but probably missed some good points,too.)

I managed to talk to every exhibitor in the hall, and took advantage of every photo op offered:

Yes, the conference has become a big commercial, thanks to its 100 corporate sponsors. But as I said in a discussion yesterday with a friend (over Facebook), I'm grateful for all that sponsorship money, because it keeps the registration fees low. I think I paid just $199 for my all-conference pass, and that included breakfast, lunch and cocktails and appetizers on both days (all of which have come a long way from the first BlogHer in '05, when all we got was cheese and crackers and a measly glass of wine).

In fact, my sister (who has attended her share of medical-type conferences with her husband) kept remarking that she'd never been to an event where once she paid her fee, she didn't have to pay for any meal again (unless she wanted to). 

The biggest celebrity in attendance was Jane Lynch, and I think I would have swooned to have seen her. Long before she hit the public consciousness as Sue Sylvester, Lynch was a stealing scenes in every TV show and movie she appeared in (notably as one Christopher Guest's ensemble of character actors). Lynch's appearance was through conference sponsor LG, as you can see from this video:

I was not one of the lucky 40 bloggers invited to the private party depicted in the video (but I got a glimpse of my friend Glennia - and the wonderful Kelly "Mocha Momma" was on the panel with Lynch and "Queen Bees and Wannabes" author Rosalind Wiseman). That's cool, because there were plenty of parties to go around -- both the big official conference ones and other little private soirees. 

As for me: The one celebrity (and I use that term loosely) I geeked out about was Diane Amos, the actress who does all those commericals for Pine Sol. I told her I was a fan, and I meant it. I love her cornrows, her easy manner, and the fact that she's got a bit of sibilance (like me). Ironic that a word describing a whistling "ess" sound has so many of them in it, isn't it?

It is also ironic that I could get so excited about cleaning products, when everyone knows that I hate housecleaning. But you see, I buy the products. I think I'm just trying to find the one magic bullet that will do the job without ME. (And so far, the only one I've found that really works that way is called Merry Maids. But I keep on searching.)

But the biggest thrill of all -- and the reason I keep coming back to the conference -- is seeing my friends and meeting new ones. After years of just missing each other, I finally shook hands with the amazing Jennifer James, who arrived in San Diego after a once-in-a-lifetime mission to Kenya with the poverty-fighting ONE campaign.

This dispels the popular image of mom bloggers who only care about swag -- like Jennifer, Cooper and Emily, Lindsay, Jen, Grace and hundreds of other bloggers -- many of them moms -- who have used their blogs over the years to raise awareness and funds to help others.

My own involvement with the MOMocrats comes from the desire to make the world a better place. You may not agree with my vision of what that is, or how I think we need to get there. But it is a sincere effort to do good. 

I came home from BlogHer with a lot of stuff, and I enjoyed the parties. But the highlights all involve the people I met, the ideas that were exchanged -- and plans we made to (we hope!) change the world for the better.

BlogHer 11: Not Just Parties - Unless That's Your Thing

Our BlogHer badges arrived last week. Attached were ten tickets to purchase drinks at the official parties.

This is Linda's first BlogHer conference -- and getting her here was something of a feat, because she doesn't really enjoy conferences and (as she put it last night), "I don't like networking." And when she got her first look at the announced agenda several weeks ago, she couldn't identify a session that sounded interesting to her.

But she does appreciate a good party, and last night, we visited four of them (five, if you include the opening night reception in the exhibit hall, where food and wine were served). 

I do, too - but the reasons I come here year after year are more serious. I come for information, inspiration and the cameraderie of friends. I still cannot believe how many real relationships I have developed with women from all over the country, merely through the act of blogging (and microblogging). Yesterday was a hugfest, as I ran into dozens of women whose friendship mean the world to me.

These women included Erin (Queen of Spain) Kotecki Vest, who has been through health hell over the last few years. Erin works for BlogHer, but her fight with lupus has forced her to step back from her old job as a political editor for the organization -- and I'm afraid that has affected this year's programming. This is the first year I've attended that did not include a news and politics track, and I sorely miss that. I am praying for Erin to turn the corner on her health so she can get back to work.

Erin is the inspiration for a blood drive here tomorrow at the San Diego Convention Center. It takes the blood of 1,000 donors to create just one dose of the IVIG treatment she must undergo to fight her condition.  If you're attending the conference and eligible to give blood, I urge you to do so. You never know whose life you're going to save.

Bad Hair Day at BlogHer

I'm in San Diego, along with 3,000 of my closest online friends, for the sixth annual BlogHer conference. 

This is turning into a more or less annual ritual for me, akin to a Girls Night Out -- and an event I've attended almost every year since the first, intimate BlogHerCon back in 2005.

The conference has changed a lot -- and so have I. Six years ago, attending the conference opened my eyes to what I could do with my little blog, which I still had a passion for writing.

But 2011 is the year when we are all being reminded of our limitations. And I'm feeling very limited indeed (as evidenced by my infrequent posts here of late).

One thing that remains the same: I am here in San Diego looking for inspiration, and looking forward to meeting new friends and connecting with old ones. And I'm as insecure about myself as ever, which is why I spent Tuesday taking care of some personal grooming needs: Hair, nails, etc.

I got here yesterday for a pre-conference meeting with the  MOMocrats, and I cannot tell you what a tonic it is to see them all in one room!

My friends are all too polite to point out that my new haircut doesn't suit me (just as they won't mention all the weight I've gained back in the last year). I wish my husband and daughter were as sensitive.

I have already hugged and been hugged by a couple of dozen fabulous female friends who hail from all parts of the country. And I'm being joined this afternoon by my sister, who is attending her first BlogHer conference -- which means this year, I'll be seeing this event through her newbie eyes, too.

Can't wait to see what my takeaways will be this year.

BlogHer bet: I Meet My Mentor

This is one of a series of posts about last month's BlogHer bet event in Santa Clara, CA. If you weren't able to attend, you can still get on-demand access to all the informative panels and workshops you missed by purchasing a Virtual Pass here.

One of the huge benefits of attending the business, entrepreneurism and technology conference was the opportunity to pick the brain of one of 50+ amazing, powerful, successful women... ranging from venture capital executives to CEO's to trend spotters. The star power on the list announced by Lisa Stone was dazzling.

Prior to the event, we were each queried on what we hoped to gain from the conference, what kind of venture we were working on and who we might want to choose for our mentors.

Most of my friends who were attending had a good idea of who they might want. But since I wasn't sure of why I was even going, I left that up to BlogHer's event planners. "I realize I might be hard to place," I told them.

I figured that meeting any one of these successful women was a winning proposition for me. I realize that I tend to engage in magical thinking and that success isn't something that just "rubs off" on people... but I have also observed that positive (and negative) energy is infectious. Successful people tend to have lots of the former and I hoped that I might be able to absorb a little.

At any rate, I prepared for BlogHer bet with no real expectations... and so there was no risk of being disappointed when I learned the identity of my mentor: Natalia Oberti Noguera, who is a champion of "women-led for-profit social ventures." 

"Whatever THAT means," I thought.

Apparently, it's all the rage. In fact, most of us are already familiar with these entities in our day-t0-day consuming.

Kudos to the BlogHer matchmakers for managing to make some sense out of my rambling responses to their questions and vague ideas (I had two - but both were rooted in my observation of societal voids that need to be filled).

"You're going to love her," Elisa Camahort Page told me the night before the event, at the attendees' welcome reception. "She's very passionate about helping other women."

As usual, Elisa was right.

Natalia Oberti Noguera is young (probably not as young as she looks, but definitely a decade or two younger than I), petite and indeed, very passionate about social entrepreneurism. 

Many of my friends who were attending the conference had spent time putting together informational pitches to show their mentors. I did not have anything like that and apologized.

"My first piece of advice is, don't apologize!" she smiled.

She had more advice - much of it specific to my goals. But a couple of points were of a more general nature:

1. Network: Find the high-worth inviduals who can help you. Find out what THEY want. Know who you want to meet and when you do, don't let the moment pass you by!

2. Create a wish list for your venture, and don't be afraid to go wild with it. Approach it like a bucket list. (For instance, if you want to reach Lady Gaga, try creating a viral video message to her.)

Oberti Noguera didn't let a second go to waste in our allotted time together. She even suggested a few of those "high-worth individuals" she described in bullet point #1.

And, as I'd hoped, the meeting was inspirational. I've got a lot of new items on my to do list. 

I'd better get cracking.

BlogHer bet - What Am I Doing Here?

In my haste to begin writing about my experience at BlogHer bet yesterday, I began live blogging the opening session before I'd explained how I ended up at a conference for women entrepreneurs.

After all, as I've told people for years -- that although I come from a family of salespeople, I didn't get the gene for business. I don't have an entrepreneurial bone in my body.

This is why I forwarded the initial announcement of the inaugural Business, Entrepreunership and Technology conference to everyone I knew with a small business... including my sister, who is trying to expand the reach of her longtime company (Career Kids), which publishes and distributes career planning material for K12 students. She recently launched a spinoff for adults -- and I thought she might find value in getting matched with a mentor who might offer some solid advice for growing her business.

The timing of the conference did not work out for her... but it was doable for two of my friends and blogging colleagues: Yvonne Condes, who is a member of the triumvirate behind the new MomsLAnews site, and Cynthia Liu, my frequent partner-in-progressive political radio at MOMocratsMOMochat - who is building a promising new resource for parents of public school students, the K12 News Network.

The initial BlogHer bet was designed to be small: Just 100 spots for attendees who would be matched with 50 high powered female mentors. It sounded like a terrific opportunity and a potentially life changing experience; much like the first BlogHer conference I attended back in 2005.

BlogHer bet sounded like a great event to attend, if only for the opportunity to network and hear the advice of these extremely successful women. But it was designed to help women who had either launched a business or had an idea for a business. 

And that wasn't me.

Also, with just 100 spots open, I did not want to take up space that should be filled by a woman who DID have a great business idea.

So why did I come?