BlogHer

July 28, 2008

The Very Last Post on the Dread Hard Disk Crash of 2008

How do you rebuild something that's been lost forever?

That's been my quest since I realized that the data that was on my computer is NOT COMING BACK.

The only thing to do is to start over, and -- without the baggage of having to live with bad decisions you made on previous computers (weird file setups, layers and layers of archives, etc.) -- you try to build it all better.

One thing that strikes me is how much quicker my computer is running now. The hard drive was probably already failing when I was at BlogHer, which is why I couldn't live blog LIVE over there and spent two hours after each session just fixing weird involunatry typos.

But I know part of my computer's slowness was due to all kinds of crap that various programs stuck into my startup routine, hogging my computer's memory and causing it to take a loooong time to bootup. I'm nipping that in the bud by going into startup every time I reinstall a program and removing all the extraneous bits I don't want as soon as I see them (because otherwise, I can't tell what they are or if I actually do need them).

Img_2827 And I'm going somewhat analog. Among the ton of BlogHer swag I received was a little black book titled the Internet Password Organizer. It's a simple idea - it resembles an address book with alphabetized pages. But instead of phone numbers, you record websites and passwords. When I saw it in the beautiful bag I received from Silicon Valley Moms Blog, I didn't think I would have a use for it, as I kept every password email I ever received in an Outlook folder and could do a quick search whenever I forgot one.

But I can't do that now. And a hard copy backup is starting to look good. So this book is my new right-hand (so to speak, as I'm a leftie). I'm not sure where I want to keep it -- don't really want to pack it in my laptop bag, so I guess it will stay somewhere in the house. I just hope I don't lose it!

Some of the files that were lost date back seven or eight years -- and if I really wanted THOSE, I do have old backups.

But the stuff that's lost forever is the material that has built up since I purchased this computer in 2007 - oh yes, and from a couple of years before that, because a few months ago the external hard drive I was using for backups had failed and I was TOO CHEAP to spend $100 on a new one.

I've learned that lesson. No more waiting around for help in repairing something as important as that.

Anyway, like I said - I'm focusing on rebuilding. My husband successfully managed to transfer all the media files from my iPod to a newly installed version of iTunes. I am now able to bore all of my friends with Series 4 and 5 of the British TV show Shameless ... and I can't use the "I don't have my iPod" excuse to avoid working out at the gym.

All my Playlists got lost in the transfer, but that's just a minor inconvenience among so many major inconveniences I am facing.

Like what to do about all the financial stuff that had been in Quicken. I need to pay bills today. I can download bank statements from the last few months, but don't know if I can get them dating back to the beginning of the year.

And there is the ever-present nuisance of hunting down email addresses that no longer exist in my contact list. If you sent me an email in the last couple of weeks and I haven't replied - or if I have promised a reply and you haven't received it... please accept my apologies.

July 21, 2008

Oh Lord, I'm Back in SoCal Again

I caught a glimpse of myself in the ladies room at the Oakland Airport yesterday afternoon and thought, "Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my mug shot."

And it would not have been of Paris Hilton quality, as Anissa suggested after I twittered it... I definitely looked Nick Nolte-esque.

Touched down in Burbank just before 4:00 p.m. and was shocked to be greeted with temperatures in the mid-80's -- not the unbearable July furnace heat I'd been expecting. In fact, the warmth felt GOOD after chilly San Francisco. I could be very happy living here if it would only stay that exact temperature all year round.

Also surprising was the state of the house when I walked in the door: It was CLEAN (much nicer than the way I'd left it). No dishes in the sink. No clutter anywhere. (Of course, I am the one responsible for the usual mess on all our surfaces). And when I told my husband how very tired I was (was truly afraid of falling asleep at the wheel on the drive home from the airport), he made a Starbucks run.

He also cooked dinner - AND washed the dishes. (Can you say "miracle"?)

I definitely think my family was happy to have me back home.

Of course, he didn't have a lot of choice in the matter, because despite the extra shot of caffeine, all I was able to do last night was sink onto the couch and be a vegetable. Before going to BlogHer, I'd opined that my 50-something body would not be able to handle all the parties, and I thought I would be my usual sensible self and turn in early each night. Instead, I had to tiptoe into my guest room so I wouldn't wake up my roomies, as I didn't finish partying each night until after 1:00 a.m.

Lack of sleep and the after-effect of too much alcohol made my dry eye syndrome kick into uncomfortable high gear, which didn't help me get to sleep any earlier last night.

I'm moving very slowly today. I think I have one more BlogHer post in me -- but it must wait until I get my energy back. Those of you who are sick of hearing about BlogHer will just have to bear with that.

July 19, 2008

Making the BlogHer Conference My Own

I ended up missing all the afternoon breakout sessions. One reason was that it took me TWO HOURS to clean up my "live" blog post with the Presidential candidates' surrogates.

I probably would have finished it quicker if I had retired to my hotel room, as I did yesterday. But I opted instead to work in the BlogHer Internet cafe/book store, where I had access to free lattes and networking with others. (Favorite quote from the guy working the coffee cart: "This is a friendly crowd. So was Alcoholics Anonymous. They were first. You guys are second.")

So I've been working on my blog post - but also working on my network. And as I said in my first BlogHer post today, that's part of the balance at a conference like this.

Lunch was an impromptu session with the amazing Cynthia Samuels, a veteran news producer who has been to every Democratic and Republican convention since 1968. Cynthia generously briefed all the BlogHer women who will be covering this year's historic conventions (and there are enough of us going that we filled two tables). Thanks to her insider tips, we MOMocrats are now able to formulate a game plan for next month's event in Denver.

As the advertisement says, that's an experience that's priceless.

Who Better Serves Women - Obama or McCain

Note: This is a nearly live blog of a political session at BlogHer. (Nearly live because there were so many typos that I decided to save it and fix it after lunch.)

Lisa Stone introduced us to the members of the presidential campaigns. Said BlogHer is proud to be a nonpartisan organization, embracing people with every political persuasion, to have a level of civil disagreement; we wanted data rather than rhetoric.

The speakers were Congresswoman Allyson Schwartz (surrogate for Obama) and Liz Mair (surrogate for McCain).

Liz Mair is the online communcations director for the Republic National Committee. Probably see things, hear things, receive things from her. Will take email addresses for those who would like to. Very focused on aggressive outreach to bloggers. Talking about which candidate is best for women.

As a woman who supports McCain, she feels the most important issue facing women are our Foreign policy and national security challenges. She said Senator McCain has a demonstrated track record of experience (27 years) which inspires confidence in women. Thinks also a lot of talk about the economy, Americans are hurting and McCain has put forward a plan for economic growth. Small business owners are largely women and clearly how we handle issues of taxation and health care have a bearing on women's role in business. Aimed for growth, plan speciically targeted to keep taxes low and increase choice and portability in insurance. Big reasons she thinks he is the one to move women forward.

Schwartz: Thrilled with bloggers - a whole new thing. Senator Obama is reaching out to people, talks about his posiions, his hopes, his dreams to lead the nation in a new and exciting way and bring more people into the process. Schwartz is a second term member of Congress from Pennsylvania and the only woman in the Pennsylvania delegation. Want us to know she was a big Hillary Clinton supporter and worked hard and Hillary won really big and is here to work as hard for Obama. For her, while experiencing disappointment in not seeing the first woman president, feels they had two strong candidates in the primary. But then you get over it and move on. For her, as a member of Congress and a woman there is simply such an extraordinary contrast in the candidates from where they stand on the issus (pro choice vs pro life) domestic violence, breast cancer research, child care tax credits, health care, universal health care, energy independence and security. No question for her that Barack Obama is the one to meet the challenges and inspire us to do so in an exciting way.

Lisa posed the first question, which turned out to be one that I asked last week on the BlogHer site:

For Senator McCain: Given the fallout from our mortgage and banking crises (which arose from total free market forces and not enough regulation of the banking industry), the implosion of the values of our homes, the rising cost of energy (which is fueling a scary trend towards inflation), the crumbling of our infrastructure and our growing national debt: Please explain how making the Bush tax cuts permanent is going to put our economy back on track.

For Senator Obama: Your platform includes many progressive goals that could provide relief for the lower and middle classes - but given the current economic trends, how are we going to pay for them?

For both candidates: What can we do in the short term to provide relief for families who are being squeezed by inflation, unemployment and unaffordability of health care?

For McCain: How wll making Bush's tax cuts permanent put the economy on track:

Mair: Thinks it will spur economic growth. thinks it is nonsensical in this economy to raise taxes on working families would b helpful and that is wat obama is advocating. not something that will help women or americns over all in tough times. additionally, if you are taking mor money away from small businesses which are the engine of the economy, that will take money from workers. need to encourage small bsiness growth.

Lisa asked Congressperson Schwartz how do you plan to pay for Obama's plan?

Schwartz: It's hard. Do we want this to be a conversation or a debate? The discussion about taxes is not easy. As elected officials we would love to say we will cut everybody's taxes and we will all be better off. The fact that the Republicans keep saying that the Democrats just want to raise your taxes is simply not true. The fact that the Bush tax cuts were set to end, if you want to blame someone for it ending in 2010, blame the Republicans because it was designed that way. Republicans and President Bush said they knew that the cuts would put more of us into the AMT. We need to look at tax policy to make sure that the middle class and the lower class benefit. But we also need to make sure we fund the government.

How to invest in research and development? Gonna do it by looking at loopholes for biggest corporations, offshore giveaways to insurance companies who are being overpaid dramatically by Medicare. We have dollars in budget that can be redirected and also look at the taxes of the very wealthiest Americans.

Question from audience member Lori, who said she was of Libertarian stripe. She believes in Freedom and is alienated by Democrats (economic freedom) and Republicans (personal freedom). Doesn't know which party she dislikes more. She wants to know how the candidates plan to restore personal freedom to people and not let it erode any more.

Schwartz: It's always a balancing process in this country. It's a challenge in a threatening world to protect civil liberties while keeping secure. We should not give up our civil liberties, but the details matter. You need to figure out who you trust more in that matter. We do know as women that what government does or doesn't do sets the stage for whether you have the freedom to invest and grow and take advantage. No easy answer, you need to figure out who you trust.

Mair: Agrees with what the Congresswoman said about the challenge of balancing civil liberties and security. Can't have one without the other. Economically: one of the real issues that Libertarians have with Democratic party is emphasis on increasing size and scope of government. $600 billion proposed to expend. Might be ways to justify that but fact of the matter that with that expansion of government will pose problem to Libertarians. McCain always has a commitment to cutting waste in government, need to impose more transparency.

What he's talking about is a way for people to gain better access to information.

Audience member Megan: She's the only liberal Democrat in her extended family, which is a nightmare for her. They own a small business and hears from her father-in-law that if Obama is elected, their busines will fall to pieces and it will be a disaster for country. She asked for something concrete she can use to go back to her family.

Schwartz: Obama proposes specifically eliminating capital gain taxes for woman-owned smal business to 0. Wants to increase tax credits for Research and Development important to both large and small business. Two areas that all businesses talk about and hurt are health care and eergy costs. The contast on health care alone is a reason to vote for Obama. McCain is simple: wants to end employer based health care and wants everyone to go into individual marketplace with a tax credit. What will help small business is a political commitment to tackle this issue. Need to help small business afford and contain health care costs. The second is energy cost and unless we start to get serious about investing in alternative renewable fuels we will just be more dependent on foreign sources. Third point is educating the work force.

Mair: Curious about the business her family owns. (Heating and air conditioning). First thing is that if it's a corporation, MCcain is talking about reducing corporate taxes (we are second to Japan), which  doesn't allow us to be competitive. Touching on a couple of points: R&D tax credits - McCain has outlined aggressive policy on that to expand and promote things like green technology. Energy costs a serious concern doesn't know anybody who is happy with the price of gas among oher things, tremendous impacts on housing and food. When looking at Obama's proposals, she doesn't see anything about supply of energy immediately. Senator McCain wants to increase offshore drilling and nuclear energy. He is absolutely committed to developing solar, wind, other energy sources. He has a comprehensive plan to deal with energy issues. Says Obama doesn't do anything to increase supply but does want to impose windfall profit tax on oil companies.

Lisa (reading a question submitted on the BlogHer site):

I am an American, living abroad, and am quite honestly nervous about even thinking about returning to my home country any time soon.  Watching from the outside as the economy struggles while the Canadian dollar rises, living in a country that provides Universal Health Care while millions of Americans cannot afford basic health coverage, I have  seen first-hand how other countries are doing so much more for their citizens right now.  I would like to know what your plans for making America better for it's OWN citizens, not just a military strong-hold.  What is going to change that will make me WANT to come home?

Mair: Spend several years living in the United Kingdom and did not like the National Health Service. John McCain's plan emphasizes tax credits for families to buy health care in the marketplace. He's talking about overall reform of how the market operates. Right now, state mandates are preventing people from buying insurance in the marketplace as a whole. Will open up selection, and options to buy health care for a lot less than now. The other thing that gets lost in this debate is what we are actually going to do for transparency of health care costs. If I sprain an ankle and go for treatment, hard to tell which hospital/doctor will give me the best treatment for lowest cost. McCain is talking about increasing transparency for basic health care treatments and costs. Better able to make decisions about outcomes and spending.

Schwartz: Sharp ideological difference. While Americans love the idea of choice and price comparisons... there are ways we can do this. If you have chest pain and you call 911 and are in an ambulance, how are you going to find out - you're not going to tell them not to take you there because it's too expensive. You're just not going to have that kind of control. You can try, but you might not be able to. The fact is it's not realistic. Information and transparency and incentives are important it needs to be done much more within the system. Really clear commitment on the part of Obama to make sure that every child in this country has access to affordable health care. Huge - just like we now do for seniors. If we did that for kids, would make tremendous difference.

Republicans will over and over agian say that dems want to create a national health system like (insert country's name). Doesn't think Americans want a single payment system and that's not what Obama is proposing. Looking for a uniquely American solution. Those who have access to insurance through employer will keep it. What they want to do for the 47 million who do not have access can pool and join federal employee system (with lots of choices), band together will reduce prices. Can opt for early inclusion in Medicare. As close to universal coverage as possible but via uniquely American way. Lack of coverage, inefficiency and make sure people get the care they need in a timely manner.

Question from Shirleen: In terms of technology - McCain makes her nervous about his understanding of technology. Doesn't hear anything of his understanding of net neutrality or mybenefits.gov, which each state is told they must implement. Things that are important to them and they don't have skills. What are McCain's platform of technology.

Mair: McCain is very focused on technology. He has directly engaged with the blogging community. He has conference calls with bloggers that are pretty open. This speaks volumes of his understanding of the importance of community and information engaged online. Carly Fiorina knows tech issues and is advising his campaign. No dearth of technology understanding. look at proposals that matter to the tech community. Net neutrality should be achieved in a market friendly matter. increase H1B visas. ot protectionist. McCain is advocating a platform that speaks to the tech community. Increasing transparency of government agencies.

Schwartz: Doesn't think there's been a more tech savvy campaign than Obama's. He's engaged so many new people, younger people by using the internet in really remarkable ways. No reason to expalin obama's commitment and embrace of technology in the campaign. Obama worked hard to get transparency measures passed in Congress.

Obama is not going to disagree w/McCain on everything. This is where the Obama campaign understands going forward. Seeing that we have an educated workforce that young people understand and can use technology and young girls are encouraged to go into engineering. Committed to make sure it's going to happen. For Obama it's not forced. He understands as a Democrat that to be economically competitive in a global marketplace, we have to encourage new techonologies innovation and build on them for American business. Make sure that health care, energy, education, fair tax policies encourage small and medium businesses, not just mega corporations. That also means international trade. It's not black and white -protectionist vs. open. you need some guidelines an they need to be fair to American companies and workers. international labor standards and enforcement will be in our country and those we have agreements with and that we will be serious and that is simply not the case.

She mentioned Peru, where we insisted on doing the trade agreement right and it happened. 

Question from Nancy: Wants to talk about trust. Has concerns with Obama over FISA. Can we really trust him because he acted so differently than we thought. As for McCain - Her brother was in Vietnam and heard McCain's broadcasts trying to demoralize the troops - her brother feels he did cooperate with the North Vietnamese and wants to know which candidate she can trust.

Schwartz: Important question. on some level does come down to who to trust to protect and defend our nation and build economic opportunity for ourselves and our children. Obama has been clear about honoring McCain's service to the country. FISA - as a legislator, you make statements about what you want and then you are confronted with legislation that is not what you wanted. Personally voted against FISA. Need to hold the Administration accountable. Obama expects to be chief executive and was deeply concerned that the president doesn't overstep the boundaries and he won't do that.

Schwartz thinks he said he wants to make sure court system continues - and it was better than the previous legislation. She has enormous confidence in his ability, intellect, ability to bring people together and work through together.

Mair: Wanted to answer the questioner's assertion about McCain's years as a POW. She said that John McCain was tortured on a daily basis for five and a half years. Does not think it's accurate to portray McCain as cooperating with the Vietnamese.

As for FISA, Obama kept saying repeatedly that he would not vote for the legislation, but then he did support the compromise legislation. He's inconsistent. She thinks it's fair to say that a large number of Obama supporters who feel that the fact that he was so clear cut in saying he would not give telecom immunity and then did -- makes it fair to question his trustworthiness.

Question: We think about the makeup and organization of a presidential campaign gives you clues to what they would do if elected. Please tell us about the women who are in key roles in the campaign.

Schwartz: Naming Obama's women - has been including very strong women. He's married to a strong woman and is surrounding himself with strong smart women. Kathleen Sebelius, Janet Napolitano... he's very clear about his support and inclusion of women on every level. Also on us whoever the president is to fight for women. Cited the historic aspect of the Obama campaign and the interest of the rest of the world.

Mair: Fiorina (previously mentioned), [named others - talking too fast for me to get] in addition to that, if you look at the makeup of the campaign and the Republican National Committee, you will see that women hold very key positions where they are impacting what's going on with strategy on a day to day basis.

"The fact that I'm here talking with a Congresswoman speaks volumes of how McCain perceives women and the importance he places on them. There are countless other women on the campaign advising on particular points."

As for blogger calls: She doesn't think to her knowledge that Obama does (told from the audience that he does). We do a lot of calls open to bloggers.

Closing:

Mair: Both Obama and McCain were major forces on recent bill on government transparency. On healthcare, it's not correct to characterize that McCain's position will put people in the postion of deciding if they want to have an X-ray or not. When talking about having a cold or sinus infection, there are tools like that that are very important in making a decision.

Wrapping up - there are a couple of key things to talk about. In national security and foreign policy, it is clear that McCain is well placed to be commander in chief. As to the economy: for as much as we may talk about whether the Democratic party just wants to raise taxes, that Obama IS for corporate tax increases and if you are a small business, that's going to hurt. It's important to all of us and that's why McCain is best placed.

Schwartz: Serves on Ways and Means and Budget committees in Congress. When it comes to tax policy that we are all affected by this economy which is the result of eight years. The country is eight trillion dollars in debt. This affects us. Look at the value of dollar, our inability to borrow. This puts us at security risk and economic risk. It is a serious challenge.

You can say McCain wants to stay the course in Iraq - is this the security policy you want? For most Americans, it's what Obama wants - to use military force only when we need to and to use diplomacy to pursue relationships that are strong. Health care choices, how to stimulate the economy and help small business grow. Obama has concrete ideas on how to work together to make it happen. He believes we can meet these challenges by having a debate and dialogue. Bloggers talk to millions of women every day in this country. Women can decide the election and bloggers have tremendous power in the United states to help women understand whehter it's energy costs or health care or helping kids get to college. Who you vote for in this election will help decide how it's going to happen.

BlogHer: Too Many Sessions, Too Little Time

Scanning the BlogHer conference schedule poses a dilemma: How can I be in two (or three or four!) places at the same time?

How can I choose between "Pursuing Your Passion Never Gets Old," "Beautiful Blogging and Positive Posting," "Building Traffic via Content and Community" or "The Commercial Momosphere - Policies Ethis and Outreach"?

These are four of the five break-outs that are about to begin (the fifth is "Women Without Children and the Blogosphere" -- which also sounds interesting, even if it doesn't apply to my personal situation).

I've opted to skip them all so I can put up this post. And I did not attend the morning keynote ("Hybrid Media - How we will all work together to build  converged media future"). I slept in this morning (until 7:00). Then I hit the hotel restaurant for a proper breakfast (fruit and pastries doesn't cut it for me any longer). I also spent about 20 minutes going through all the swag I collected and designating the material I'll be bringing to BlogHer and Zwaggle's "Recycling Room" (as nice as it is to receive the lovely baby sling and Medela bottle, those are items I KNOW someone else will be able to use!)

Yesterday I remembered how tiring BlogHerCon can be. I was an official live blogger at past events and so felt duty-bound to go to as many sessions as possible -- and shuffled off to bed exhausted each night. This year is so different. I skipped the two afternoon sessions and closing keynote so I could write about the one I did attend... and get to a Silicon Valley Moms event in the afternoon, which was so crowded and overwhelming that it was necessary to chill out afterwards. So instead of going to the official BlogHer party (which featured stars of the TNT shows "The Closer" and "Saving Grace"), I slipped out to a nearby restaurant for a quiet drink with my friends Liz and Michelle...

...we finished our evening at a lovely dinner that was thrown by my friends at Nintendo, which took place on a Hornblower cruise around the Bay. We left the pier with a view of ATT Park, where the Giants were in the process of losing to the Brewers... cruised over near the Golden Gate Bridge and then got really really close to Alcatraz... before returning back to our pier. It was midnight before our open-air sightseeing trolley deposited us back at the hotel, where I ran into my MOMocrat friends Glennia, Joanne and Steph.

No wonder I'm dragging today!

I'm trying to talk myself out of feeling guilty. You don't attend an event like this JUST for the sessions (although the educational component of a conference is the initial draw). The social aspect might be even more important. I know I wrote a lot yesterday about how deep bloggers' online relationships are, but those relationships intensify when you actually MEET one another face to face, which was the subject of an article in the current issue of Wired (which points out that online networking just isn't as effective as using PERSONAL contacts).

I have learned more in two days from just TALKING with people like Liz, Michelle, Shannon, Jenn, Karoli, Jenny, and Elizabeth.

And so I'm discovering that BlogHer, like the life of a mom, is a place where you need to learn to balance. If in the past my time leaned a bit too much on the side of attending the sessions, then it's not surprising that this trip is leaning a bit too much on the side of socializing. There's a sweet spot somewhere in between -- which I'm hoping to hit today.

So I've opted to attend the 11:30 "Room of Your Own" session on "Who Better Serves Women - Obama or McCain?" And I'll be live blogging it. For me. And the social stuff will follow...

July 18, 2008

BlogHer: Mommy Blogging Still a Radical Act - Depending on How You Define "Radical"

I had a hard time deciding which of the first breakout sessions to attend. Now that I'm a contributor to the MOMocrats, I could really use some advice on writing "Top Notch Political Opinion Commentary." But the  most memorable events of my first two BlogHerCons were the sessions on Mommy Blogging -- and most of my blogging friends are part of that community.

In the end, nostalgia won over currency. I went to the Mommy Blogging session, which was held in a rather large breakout room...

...which, like the ballroom, had no handy outlets to plug in my laptop. So having used up all my battery power during the previous post (which I'd had to wrap up BEFORE the opening session even started!), instead of live blogging, I ended up taking analog notes with pen and paper. And in the interest of getting the post out there before I forget the meaning of all my chicken scratches, I am missing the second breakout session. It's probably just as well: Choosing between "Race and Gender," "DIY Content Syndication & Promotion," and "How to Take Names and Be Taken Seriously as a Political Blogger" would be too daunting.

NOTE TO SELF: If I'm lucky enough to get to BlogHer 09, pack a surge protector and LONG extension cord, because my battery just ain't gonna cut it.

This year's conference has an entire track devoted to Mommy Bloggers, and the first session re-visited the question that was asked in 2005: Is Mommy Blogging STILL a radical act?

Answering were Charlene Li (who also has a personal blog and contributes to Silicon Valley Moms Blog), Maria from ImmoralMatriarch.com and Polly Pagenheart of LesbianDad.net. The panel was moderated by Lindsay Ferrier of Suburban Turmoil, who began by asking the question: Is it still a radical act?.

Charlene referred back to that first BlogHer session, when she pointed out that moms online were still trying to find their voices. She thinks it still is, because ALL blogging is a radical act. She quoted some interesting statistics: 12% of adults blog. 13% of women blog. 15% of mothers blog.

The most interesting blogs ARE the most radical, because they are honest.

The question was asked: Can you maintian your radical voice AND have ads and do product reviews?

Maria thinks you can, as long as you stay true to yourself as a writer - that you don't just write your posts looking for a payday.

Charlene pointed out the traditional news media's separation of advertising and content, and that this is harder for bloggers to do without a large moneyed organization behind them.

Radical means stepping away from some products. You may need to ask yourself, do you want that sponsorship in the first place?

Polly wondered if mommy blogging ever really was radical. She said it depends on the content and who's writing the content. It can be radical because it reflects a minority voice.

Jen from One Plus Two asked, how are we defining radical?

Lindsay answered by quoting something Polly said when they were preparing for this session: "Making private work public" is radical. The media was not portraying motherhood accurately. Now we are creating a social history. Radical means making fundamental change.

Kerry from Crunchy Carpets pointed out that people think you're brave just for putting yourself (your thoughts in your blog) out there.

Someone said it was also radical to accept differences without being mean.

Catherine from Her Bad Mother thinks "Greater evidence that it's radical is that people still criticize us for it."

There has recently been a fundamental shift: women who speak their truth and continue to do so despite the backlash.

Charlene recounted how she is a professional in a male-dominated area; a blogger who happens to be a mother. Two years ago she added the fact that she was also a "mommy blogger" to her resume and saw her peers react rather negatively. She wants to see mommy bloggers get the same respect as other bloggers.

Lindsay asked is there pressure to write what you think the audience wants?

Maria conceded that it's easy to have an urge to make things commercially acceptable, but she thinks it's OK as long as you write your true emotions about something. "I want to hear YOU," she said.

Lindsay asked how many were afraid to come out as mommy bloggers where they work.

Charlene told the group she is leaving Forrester Research because she needs to get more balance between work and family. She's leaving at the top of her game, but people are telling her she's crazy. She's trying to tie it all together. "We are very complex people," she said.

Christina of A Mommy Story got some laughs when she described herself as a "product whore." But she seemed genuinely perturbed that in recent media interviews, the number one question she's been asked is "How do you make money?" Even when she talks about the value of the community, those remarks get edited out.

Someone pointed out that blogging and twittering are like the 21st century equivalent of 50's moms chatting while they hand clothes out on the line.

Polly: What people get out of blogs is that they don't feel as alon. Conversations online tend to be deeper and different from those in moms' groups. Communication via blogs encourages everyone to think deeper, because they read and take time to think and respond.

Lindsay thought it was interesting that more people are putting their real names on their blogs (whereas a few years ago, moms tended to prefer pseudonyms).

One thing I found interesting about this session was the lack of hostility or defensiveness I felt in the room. It was very different from 2005, or the 2006 session, which seemed almost brutal to me. Instead, the emotion I sensed at this session was one of triumph. No one was debating whether the term "mommy blog" was demeaning or not. The news story in 2008 is the economic power of moms and moms who blog. We've won the battle. Maybe we still don't get the respect we'd like as writers, but there are plenty of respected bloggers who envy the attention and earning potential we've created.

One of the final words came from Liz Gumbiner of Mom101: "The most radical thing for me is there is room for EVERYONE. There's no need to point fingers, we are all here for different reasons and it's all pretty great."

Amen.

First Post from BlogHer

OK, this post will be quick - or as quick as I can muster. I've been up since 4:30 this morning and managed two short posts on the LA Moms and 50-Something Moms blogs... ridiculously short, when you realize how long it took me. And now, I'm in the Grand Ballroom at the Westin St. Francis, waiting for the opening BlogHer session to begin. And unlike the early conferences, there are no surge protectors on the tables (too expensive now that the conference is so big, explained founder Elisa Camahort Page -- however, the breakout rooms are properly wired). However, as usual, I don't have enough battery power to get me through it... so I have to type fast.

I know it sounds hokey when bloggers blather on about their community -- but the thing that compels me to keep on writing here is the connection I have made with so many incredible women (mostly women), through email and posts and tweets and comments on this blog. I think of these people as my friends -- just as much as my "real world" friends.

Meetups like BlogHer allow me to take my virtual acquaintances into the "real world."

That's why I wasn't too chagrined when Erin had to change her travel plans (I had booked myself on what was originally her flight). That's because I knew my fellow MOMocrat Julie would be arriving at Oakland airport (from Houston) just minutes before me. Sure enough, the moment I turned my cell phone back on after landing, there was a message from her letting me know that she was already waiting for me at my gate.

We had never before met or even talked on the phone -- but after months of daily emails, it was like being with an old friend. We shared a cab to the Westin St. Francis, where the lobby was already filled with more old friends we'd never actually met - and a few we've known since the very first BlogHerCon.

This is the first BlogHer where I've had roommates: The prolific Lizzie and Shannon -- both from the East Coast. So why was I the one who couldn't get to sleep after 4:30 a.m.?

The first thing we did after checking in was grab some lunch - after all, it was after 2:00 p.m. And since both Liz and Shannon are San Francisco newbies, they were looking to me (you know, SoCal native ME) for guidance. Fortunately, this is the land of food and foodies, and we were able to score an excellent meal just across the street. Shannon had a 3:00 meeting, so I dragged Liz on a long walk - which she professed to enjoy until we returned the hotel with sore feet (perhaps trudging to Fisherman's Wharf and back via the Embarcadero was a little bit too ambitious).

It was a gorgeous day: sunny, clear and cold, with a crisp wind blowing across the bay. After a day of being cooped up in a cramped little airplane, it felt good (except for that sore foot thing).

We got back to the hotel in time to hit some of the pre-conference parties. I can't help but remember
the intimacy of the first BlogHer. Was it really only three years ago? I am amazed at how much and how quickly this organization has grown. Back in 2005, there were the official cocktail parties - and that was it. I retired early to my hotel room and had a good night's sleep.

This year I'm not being so sensible. But that's OK. Because there's nothing like being among 1000 like minded women (and a few men) who are as passionate about this activity as I am. It's fun, and as Dr. Seuss said, "Fun is good."

July 16, 2008

Countdown to BlogHer

I know - those of you who are NOT going to BlogHer are sick and tired of reading about it. I know I was last year, which was the ONLY annual BlogHer conference I DIDN'T attend.

I vowed I would never miss another.

That's why I'm going to spare you this time around -- today. I'm afraid you'll have to bear with the BlogHer reports from me the rest of the week. I'm hoping they'll be fun - you know, like "Ocean's 11" was fun... but not like "Ocean's 12," which was only fun for the cast (but not the audience).

I spent most of today organizing myself for the trip to San Francisco... but I did manage to squeeze out a new post over at the 50-Something Moms blog. It will have to suffice until I get back to SoCal...

April 28, 2008

Sushi and the Single Girl

Sushi Many of you already know that I've been spending a lot of time on Twitter, especially between the hours of 2:00 and 3:00, when I am usually parked across the street from my daughter's school. Texting my "Twitter Peeps" over the phone makes that time go by quickly... and you never know what you'll find out.

Like last week, when Busy Mom announced that she had never tasted sushi. NEVER. As in, "not ever."

I told her that I found this mind boggling. I had heard rumors that sushi was not so prevalent in other parts of the country, but out here, it's everywhere. All the supermarket chains devote deli space to the stuff (and most have chefs behind the counter, making it fresh all day). All the food court malls have a sushi option, and it's common here to see little kids bellied up to the sushi bar with their parents.

As it turns out, Busy Mom's turn-off isn't so much that the fish is raw, but that it's fish. She doesn't eat seafood, and I can relate to that, because I have suffered from allergies since childhood. Sometimes (as in the case of white fish like cod, sole and halibut) my reaction is somewhat mild: tingling and/or swelling of my tongue and lips. But there was one time I ate something and I thought I was going to die.

The occasion was a visit to Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. I didn't think it would do too much harm to sample one of the little shrimp cocktails they sell in the stalls there. Huge mistake. My heart began to race and I felt like I couldn't breathe, and it lasted for a good long time.

Epi pens? I'd never heard of them. They may not have been invented yet. This was over 30 years ago, and needless to say, I have not had a bite of shrimp since.

So when sushi first became popular in SoCal, I kept my distance. The closest I came was buying a refrigerator magnet that looked like a miniature plate of the stuff. It was pretty.

At the time, the only fish I was certain I could consume without problems was tuna, and I wasn't about to try it raw. However, as a single gal living alone in the early '80's, keeping out of sushi bars was starting to impact my social life. The kicker was the day I interviewed Bay Area rocker Greg Kihn (who was promoting his hit, "The Break-Up Song." Yes, that's how long ago this was).

I guess I should mention now that my first job out of college was really cool: I worked for a radio syndicator, where I wrote and (eventually) produced a weekly Top 30 countdown show. It didn't pay well, but I got perks in the form of free records, concerts, and the opportunity to chat with about half the people who made the Billboard Hot 100 between 1980 and 1983.

The problem was, even though I had a cool job, I wasn't anythng close to cool: I've always been the same geeky person you know today -- only worse, because I was young, naive, a total fan -- and self-aware enough to know it. As much as I tried to project the image of a young hipster, it didn't work.

I'm pretty sure some of the artists I interviewed tried to flirt with me, but I was too stupid to recognize it. Instead, I focused on trying to be "professional," and the next day, while transcribing my tape, I would wonder why the guy I was talking to had suddenly started telling me how his wife or girlfriend didn't understand him (as if I was a therapist).

I don't think that was the case with Greg Kihn, but I definitely think he had become bored with the interview, because about halfway through my questions, he cut the session short.

"My friends and I are going out for sushi. Do you want to come?"

"No thank you," I replied automatically. "I'm allergic to fish."

D'oh! The interview was over, I only had about half the material I needed for my show, and I'd missed an opportunity that might have been fun (or at least given me a better anecdote to relate to you now that I'm middle-aged and terminally uncool).

But it was a catalyst. At the time, I lived in an apartment in Studio City, just a short walk from Ventura Boulevard. Today, people think of that part of town as "Sushi Row," because that stretch of the Boulevard is home to at least one sushi joint per block. In 1981, there were about a half dozen places to choose from, and so one night, I went into one of them and sat myself down at the bar.

"I'm allergic to fish," I told the sushi chef. "What can I have?"

He thought for a minute and then got creative. He made me a hand roll out of rice, cucumber, pickled burdock and grilled chicken, and it was delicious. I also sampled his cucumber roll, futomaki and tamago (which is a kind of sweet egg omelet, traditionally ordered at the end of a sushi meal).

I decided I sitting at the sushi bar. For one thing, eating Lean Cuisine alone in my apartment had gotten old. I had taken to eating alone in restaurants a couple of nights a week, so I could take in the energy of being among people -- and dining solo at the sushi bar was a lot less awkward than getting a table for one.

I returned a few more times to the same restaurant before I felt comfortable enough to suggest going there together with some friends. That's when I learned that if you buy your sushi chef a drink, he will often reward you with a langniappe - a little something extra, at no charge. With the first drink, we got some edamame (boiled soybeans - yummy!) ... the second drink brought us some tsunemono (a salad of pickled vegetables, often with some seafood, which I picked out and gave to my friends)...

Of course, every time we bought the chef a drink, we'd ordered another round for ourselves. So by the time the waitress brought me my third hot sake, I was feeling pretty good (inhibitions? What inhibitions?). And so when the chef rewarded our third drink with a gift of baby squid, I said "what the hell?" And I ate them.

And a funny thing happened: nothing. I discovered that night that I'm not allergic to squid. I also sampled a friend's California roll and found out that I'm not allergic to crab. Over time, I learned that raw tuna (especially in spicy tuna rolls) tastes WAY better than Starkist, and that I like yellowtail and salmon, too. I am still, however, allergic to all kinds of white fish, and keep the hell away from shrimp and lobster. I'm certain I am avoiding foods that I could consume without harm, but the memory of that long ago shrimp cocktail keeps me from being too adventurous -- I mean, why take that risk?

By the time I met the man I eventually married, sushi (which is low in fat and high in protein) had become my favorite cuisine. So of course, I suggested it for our first date. I learned later that he only went along with it to impress me. Like Busy Mom, he wasn't that in to the seafood, and the thought of eating it raw disgusted him.

But eventually, he learned to like the stuff. Love it, actually. In the years before our daughter was born, we frequented Teru Sushi so often (as much as three times per week) that we used to get invited to their customer appreciation parties. Alas, it is amazing what a baby and a mortgage do to your disposable income. Sometimes I wonder if all the weight I gained in the ensuing years was due to cutting all that sushi out of my diet.

Today, Japanese food is about the only cuisine the entire family can agree upon, and that includes my daughter who (I wonder why this keeps coming up?) won't eat seafood (even though she has grown up going to sushi bars with us). So I was confident when I told Busy Mom that I would be happy to introduce her to sushi (and sushi-type food) when we meet at BlogHer his summer -- that's because several years ago, the concierge at the Westin St. Francis directed us to a nice, casual Japanese place that's Megan-friendly and within walking distance. I figure Busy Mom can have some cucumber roll, futomaki, and grilled dishes like chicken yaki-tori.

And if she drinks enough sake, who knows? She just might be ready for adventure.

February 09, 2007

This Time, a Good Distraction

So, here I was this morning, determined to write my DotMoms stuff... and I bring in our copy of the L.A. Times and spy the article on poor Anna Nicole Smith's life and death, and I decide my post can wait...

...but then, my eye wanders to the article directly next to the one about Anna Nicole. It's about the TV networks and their worries as the audience shrinks for morning shows like "Today" and "Good Morning America." I wonder if they are going to relate the brouhaha that occurred a couple of weeks ago when Melissa of Suburban Bliss and Stefanie from Baby On Bored got blindsided by Meredith Vieria over "cocktail playdates." (Meredith seems to view drinking alcohol in a very black and white manner -- even one glass of wine with dinner= BAD. And nobody seems to say anything about the dad enjoying his beer in the evening... it's just on us moms. Typical. Anyway, this topic has already been discussed to death all over the mommy blogging web -- you can read about it first hand from Melissa and Stefanie and add your two cents over there.)

This article was not about that incident (although I have a feeling the drummed up controversy has its roots in what is being discussed). No -- this article made the supposition that the audience for the morning shows has eroded because of the explosion of mommy blogs. And whose name do I see in the lead paragraph? My own BlogHer MommyBloggers friend, Jenny Lauck! (Another of the three MommyBloggers is quoted as well: the vivacious Jenn Satterwhite.)

Of course, I read the article, which sets a good case for the power of the mommy blogging community. And after I finish this post, I'm writing to the Times -- because I think when you are citing someone who works online, omitting the URL or even the name of that person's website is as egregious as misspelling his or her name, and I think it's about time that the print media catches up to online etiquette.

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