My baby started out needing me every minute of the day (causing me to whine about how I needed some time for myself -- to shower, to think, to sleep).
And then she grew. As the years went by, she needed me less -- and while I was proud of her budding self-sufficiency, I started to miss her needing me.
About five years ago when she was home with a fever, I realized that I secretly sort of enjoyed it -- because when she was home sick was the only time she acted like she needed me any longer. I could baby her, and feed her, and take the afternoon off and watch old movies on TV with her -- and she actually wanted to have me around.
My baby girl is now in high school. She woke up Tuesday feeling fluish, and I made her stay home from school. She protested, because she's taking AP Calculus, and if she misses a day, it takes her weeks to catch up. She spent most of the day in her room -- alternating between sleeping and homework. I caught up on my own work, almost forgetting she was in the house, except when she left her room to dose herself with Advil.
Tuesday night, she insisted that she would go to school. I made her take her temperature (which she's capable of doing all by herself). She groaned when the thermometer reached three digits.
She was still sleeping Wednesday morning, when I needed to get out to my own doctor's appointment (which went on until almost noon). She texted me with a request to buy some strawberries. "I'm not hungry -- but I think I should probably eat," she told me.
I picked up the strawberries, along with other favorite comfort foods. She looked a lot better; all that sleep did her some good.
"Did you take your temperature?" I asked. She shook her head no. She hadn't taken anything for fever all day, so maybe it really was a 24- or 48- hour thing. She went back to her room to study some more. And I went back to work.
It was almost like she wasn't here at all. And I didn't like it.
