Socal Mom by Donna Schwartz Mills

Burnout

I hate my inbox.

It is unmanageable. If I leave the house for just 30 minutes, I return to 50 new messages -- most of them junk.

"Why don't you just delete them?" my husband asks.

I do. There was a time when I answered everything within 24 hours, if just to say "thanks, but no thanks." I can't do that any longer. There is more incoming than I can handle.  Seventy percent of it gets trashed without any acknowledgement, and it makes me feel guilty.

Writing this blog used to be fun. It still is; most of the time. But today -- not so much.

My foul mood is probably tied to the calendar. It's the last day of the month and I have yet to muster up the courage to balance my checkbook and deal with the bills. This is a task I have to tackle before the day is done, and it's not going to be pretty.

Then, I need to work on some client projects -- which don't excite me, but will enable me to send out invoices that could make next month's bills a little less daunting.

And maybe then I'll be able to relax and have some fun.

A Hot Time in the Valley Tonight

...and last night. And the night before.

The country has heard about the record temperature recorded yesterday in downtown Los Angeles: 113 degrees.

It's usually about 10 degrees hotter here in the Valley -- but I think yesterday, we were about the same. I can recall another time about four years ago, when it got to be 117 out here -- but 113 is the record for downtown.

Not that it matters, because no matter how you cut it, anything over 100 degrees is HOT.

Of course, my husband picked Sunday to repair a leaky pipe in the backyard - a task that turned more complicated when the 50-year-old fitting kind of disintegrated in his hands. So we ended up turning off the water entirely while we waited for the plumber to come and finish the job.

That's par for the course. For some reason, whenever something fails around here, it's during a heat wave.

The one good thing that came out of last year's nightmare home renovation is that we were referred to some great tradespeople, including a wonderful plumber who took care of the pipe in a jiffy.

You may recall that while we were fixing the nasty poria damage, we decided to replace our old roof with Energy Star rated white shingles. That job also included insulation. Our electric bills over the summer were the lowest I can remember -- but it was such a mild summer, it wasn't really indicative of whether the home improvements helped.

But the last few days, I did notice that the temperature in the house never got unbearable.  In the past, our air conditioning struggled in temps over 100 degrees. So I definitely saw a difference.

Today's predicted high in the Valley is 106 -- which won't make it noticeably more comfortable outdoors.

It will be a good day to stay in.

Beating Women's Cancers: I'm All In

Video created for City of Hope's "I"m All In" campaign to raise awareness of and fight women's cancers.

It's no surprise to hear me say that I love the Internet -- or at least, the power the web gives us to connect with one another. I've never been someone who spends a lot of time on the telephone, but I took to email and discussion boards and online chat and blogs long before anyone decided to call it all "social media."

And it's been fun to see my offline friends gradually become comfortable citizens of cyberspace. (Sorry - sometimes alliteration happens.) Thanks to blogs and Facebook and Twitter, I am able to keep up with the intimate details of their lives without wasting hours on the phone.

And one thing I've learned: No matter how depressed I might become over superficial problems like how we're going to pay the bills this month... our family is very, very fortunate.

We have our health.

My parents - in their mid-70's - have been fairly healthy. My grandparents lived long lives, too.

My friends -- many of whom are quite a bit younger than I -- have not all fared as well.

Over the last five years, I've watched people I care about deal with very serious illnesses - some of them life threatening... all of them definitely life disrupting. And I've seen them all fight with grit and grace.

I'm not a lot of help. I want to be -- but most of the time, there isn't much I can do except to tell my friends I love them and care...

...and throw money at organizations that work towards a cure. A lot of my friends do walks: for cancer, for heart disease, for lupus. Many do so for personal reasons - one friend is a lymphoma survivor, one friend had a family member with MS. Whenever a friend contacts me with a request for a donation, I give.

Because there isn't a whole lot more I can do.

A couple of weeks ago, I was approached to make the short video above for City of Hope's "I'm All In" campaign to benefit research and awareness of women's cancers. It was an offer I could not refuse. After all, just last year a close friend of mine was diagnosed with a particularly aggressive breast cancer. Plus, City of Hope is an organization I'm very familiar with - it was a pet charity of my grandparents, who were active fundraisers back in the 1960's.

Agreeing to make the video was a no-brainer. (Kudos to video guru Shawn at the PR firm Weber-Shandwick, who created the I'm All In SoCalMom logo and shot and edited this. He did the impossible, which is actually making me look good on video!)

There is a competition component to this campaign. Apparently, I'm not the only blogger who was approached to participate; those of you who do click on the I'm All In link will not only learn about women's cancers, you will also have an opportunity to vote on the video you like best. The winning video will be played on the billboard in Times Square October 11-15.

To be honest with you, I don't really care about that aspect of the campaign. I just want to do my part, and making the video was a beginning. I have also signed up for City of Hope's Walk for Hope in Los Angeles on November 7. I'm actually just a virtual walker, as I think I need more training before I can actually DO a walk. If you are so inclined, please donate to the cause of curing women's cancers. 

If that's too much in these trying times, you can donate a quick $5 to City of Hope by texting HERHOPE to 90999.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and if you are like me, you are already being bombarded with pink pitches promoting awareness (again with the alliteration). It is my hope that we will be around when this kind of campaign is no longer necessary.

To your health.

A Clean Home is a Happy Home - For About 24 Hours

Yesterday, I posted the details of a little experiment in time shifting. For nine years, I've hated LAUSD's policy of ending school at 1:30 every Tuesday. I understand why they do it (to give the schools and teachers time for professional development)... but it seems like my work day is only just getting started when I have to shift gears and go back to the school to get my daughter.

And that interruption pretty much ends any productivity I might have been enjoying.

So this year, I got the bright idea of doing something else on Tuesdays; something that doesn't require a lot of brain power. Something that I desperately need to do and never seem to find the time for.

Housecleaning.

Today, instead of firing up the computer and reading email, I cleaned my oven.

I polished my counters and buffed the stainless steel appliances.

I dusted and vacuumed and mopped the floors.

I picked up my daughter and brought her home to a (mostly) clean house.

I say "mostly," because doing the entire house is an eight-hour job. All I was able to manage today was the kitchen-dining-living room-bathroom.

Next week, I'll tackle the bedrooms and master bath.

If I make that a habit, I may even start inviting my friends over for coffee (instead of suggesting we meet at Starbucks). 

I have to say: On one level, cleaning the house and making it comfortable is really satisfying.

It's too bad that by tomorrow, the kitchen and living room and bathroom will all be a mess again. On that level, it is entirely frustrating.

Time Mismanagement

Saturday was the holiest day of the year for Jews, and I observed it fairly properly by attending morning services and staying away from my computer (for the most part). We enjoyed a really nice evening breaking fast at the home of our friends, which reminded me of how much I miss socializing with other families. We got out of the habit during our home renovation ordeal -- not that I ever entertained all that often. 

As always, it comes down to time management and balance. It wasn't so long ago when I could call in outside help for the tasks that somehow always end up at the bottom of my to-do list (i.e., housecleaning).

That's no longer the case.

Like everyone we know, we have to do more with less. It wasn't that long ago that I could spend an entire school morning at Starbucks with friends, or go to a movie matinee, or have a nice lunch... or a mani/pedi. There's no time for that now. 

It's OK. None of the friends I used to see during the day have any time to just hang out any more, either. They're all working harder, too.

To others, it may not look like I'm working during the day, but I am -- either for clients or for myself. And I tire more easily now than I did a few years ago. Maybe it's because I'm older. Maybe it's my anemia. Maybe it's just the stress of never being able to scratch everything off the to-do list.

Anyway... it's Monday, the first day of a new week and a new year. And I have a feeling my to-do list is longer than ever. I don't know. I can't find it under all the junk I never seem to put away.

I am going to try some new things this week:

    1. Beginning tomorrow, I am not going to pull in my email until AFTER I've finished my to-do list for the day.

I am now bombarded with SO MUCH email, it takes me a couple of hours to wade through it... and as the morning is my most creative time, I am wasting it by reading email. This means breaking a nearly 30-year habit -- but I think it will be a more effective use of my time.

    2. I HAVE TO GET BACK INTO THE HABIT OF EXERCISE. I talked about this in my nutrition post on Friday. This is imperative. It would be nice if I can finish work, grab lunch and then head to the gym before I get Megan from school.

    3. This house has to get cleaned. I'm tired of living like this. Tomorrow begins our school's earlier dismissals on Tuesdays. So since I can't get as much done on Tuesday anyway, perhaps I should just focus on housework?

So email (and social media work) will have to wait until afternoon - probably AFTER I get Megan from school.

Do you think this will work? I can only try it out and see.

With a little luck and effort, maybe we can add socializing back into our lives.