Between the ongoing work on my home and the demands of my virtual assistant client, I've been extremely busy. Fortunately, I've been able to handle the pace. This is a big improvement over what I faced in April, when I was dealing with a Bat Mitzvah, a mother-in-law and uncertainty about my health.
In the last week, I've been approached by two more potential clients for my VA business. This is a good thing, because the home improvements are costing us a bundle, and my husband has been pushing me to find "real" employment -- something I am reluctant to pursue.
It's not that I didn't enjoy working in an office environment. My last job as a meeting and convention planner was challenging and mostly enjoyable, and the thought of once again being part of an organization and working community is kind of exciting -- especially when I remember what it was like to have a consistent, weekly paycheck and benefits.
But the minute my daughter was born, my stress level went sky-high. I no longer had the luxury of working overtime until my to-do list was done; the time I could devote to work was dictated by the hours our daycare was open. And every time the baby came down with an infection (which was often in those first few years), I had to scramble to cancel meetings and re-work deadlines because I was usually the parent who had to stay home with her.
(That is why I support the goals of MomsRising, the group that has been working diligently to improve the lot of working parents and their families -- especially regarding issues like healthcare and sick leave. I feel that our leaders and corporations like to talk a lot about family values - but few actually put them into practice. And I don't see that much has changed in the decade since I left the work force.)
I have thanked God every day for the last 10 years that I've been a stay-at-home mom. I do not know if I could have kept working outside the home with my sanity intact, and I have nothing but admiration for working moms (and even more for working single moms). I don't know how you all do it.
And when I really contemplate the prospect of once again donning work clothes and women's shoes and commuting to an office, it scares the you-know-what out of me. I don't know if I could handle being someone's formal assistant after being independent and flexible for all these years. Right now, if my daughter needs a parent to go on a field trip, or if a friend wants to meet me for coffee, or if I have some errands to do -- I can shift my schedule around to accommodate it. I don't know if I can give up that freedom... especially NOW.
You see, in addition to my VA clients, there is my husband, who sometimes treats me like I'm HIS secretary. We still have a lot of legwork to do while we put our house back together again and every day, he leaves me with a list of stuff I have to do (i.e., consult with the kitchen designer, interview contractors, etc.)
We are still undecided on what to do with our floor. I've been having second thoughts about using tile for the entry/dining room/kitchen area. You see, the poria got into our house through cracks in our concrete foundation. These have now been sealed -- but what happens when new cracks form (as is likely to happen the next time we have an earthquake)?
So I am currently toying with the idea of leaving the floor more or less bare by polishing the concrete -- so I can keep on eye on any future cracks in the foundation. My husband is not yet convinced this is the way to go -- and we have yet to get an estimate on what it would cost. But that is my thinking right now.
In the meantime, we've been plowing ahead: Over the weekend, the husband took down the facade atop our brick fireplace (which he has always hated). He also patched the holes the poria people made in our walls while they were checking for fungus damage (thankfully, they did not find any there).
We will soon be removing the wall that separates the dining room and kitchen, which will really open it up. We will be replacing the cabinets there with a new kitchen peninsula (as well as other cabinets). I have someone coming over to measure later this week, which means we needed to figure out what to do about appliances.
Over the last few years, we replaced our ugly old fridge and dishwasher with sleek stainless models -- and so we decided to finish the job by getting rid of our cooktop and wall oven. Yesterday, we purchased a nice range and microwave hood.
I have never been happy with my kitchen; its configuration is awkward and the tiled countertops weren't built with a lot of care - the grout started cracking and separating soon after we moved in. I've groused for years that I wanted to remodel... so you would think I'd be happy about this, right?
But it's freaking me out. I agonize over all the decisions. I hate spending the money. And it's not as much fun as I thought it would be. In fact, it's not much fun at all.
"You'll feel better when it's all done," my sister assures me.
I certainly hope so.
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