I had a hard time deciding which of the first breakout sessions to attend. Now that I'm a contributor to the MOMocrats, I could really use some advice on writing "Top Notch Political Opinion Commentary." But the most memorable events of my first two BlogHerCons were the sessions on Mommy Blogging -- and most of my blogging friends are part of that community.
In the end, nostalgia won over currency. I went to the Mommy Blogging session, which was held in a rather large breakout room...
...which, like the ballroom, had no handy outlets to plug in my laptop. So having used up all my battery power during the previous post (which I'd had to wrap up BEFORE the opening session even started!), instead of live blogging, I ended up taking analog notes with pen and paper. And in the interest of getting the post out there before I forget the meaning of all my chicken scratches, I am missing the second breakout session. It's probably just as well: Choosing between "Race and Gender," "DIY Content Syndication & Promotion," and "How to Take Names and Be Taken Seriously as a Political Blogger" would be too daunting.
NOTE TO SELF: If I'm lucky enough to get to BlogHer 09, pack a surge protector and LONG extension cord, because my battery just ain't gonna cut it.
This year's conference has an entire track devoted to Mommy Bloggers, and the first session re-visited the question that was asked in 2005: Is Mommy Blogging STILL a radical act?
Answering were Charlene Li (who also has a personal blog and contributes to Silicon Valley Moms Blog), Maria from ImmoralMatriarch.com and Polly Pagenheart of LesbianDad.net. The panel was moderated by Lindsay Ferrier of Suburban Turmoil, who began by asking the question: Is it still a radical act?.
Charlene referred back to that first BlogHer session, when she pointed out that moms online were still trying to find their voices. She thinks it still is, because ALL blogging is a radical act. She quoted some interesting statistics: 12% of adults blog. 13% of women blog. 15% of mothers blog.
The most interesting blogs ARE the most radical, because they are honest.
The question was asked: Can you maintian your radical voice AND have ads and do product reviews?
Maria thinks you can, as long as you stay true to yourself as a writer - that you don't just write your posts looking for a payday.
Charlene pointed out the traditional news media's separation of advertising and content, and that this is harder for bloggers to do without a large moneyed organization behind them.
Radical means stepping away from some products. You may need to ask yourself, do you want that sponsorship in the first place?
Polly wondered if mommy blogging ever really was radical. She said it depends on the content and who's writing the content. It can be radical because it reflects a minority voice.
Jen from One Plus Two asked, how are we defining radical?
Lindsay answered by quoting something Polly said when they were preparing for this session: "Making private work public" is radical. The media was not portraying motherhood accurately. Now we are creating a social history. Radical means making fundamental change.
Kerry from Crunchy Carpets pointed out that people think you're brave just for putting yourself (your thoughts in your blog) out there.
Someone said it was also radical to accept differences without being mean.
Catherine from Her Bad Mother thinks "Greater evidence that it's radical is that people still criticize us for it."
There has recently been a fundamental shift: women who speak their truth and continue to do so despite the backlash.
Charlene recounted how she is a professional in a male-dominated area; a blogger who happens to be a mother. Two years ago she added the fact that she was also a "mommy blogger" to her resume and saw her peers react rather negatively. She wants to see mommy bloggers get the same respect as other bloggers.
Lindsay asked is there pressure to write what you think the audience wants?
Maria conceded that it's easy to have an urge to make things commercially acceptable, but she thinks it's OK as long as you write your true emotions about something. "I want to hear YOU," she said.
Lindsay asked how many were afraid to come out as mommy bloggers where they work.
Charlene told the group she is leaving Forrester Research because she needs to get more balance between work and family. She's leaving at the top of her game, but people are telling her she's crazy. She's trying to tie it all together. "We are very complex people," she said.
Christina of A Mommy Story got some laughs when she described herself as a "product whore." But she seemed genuinely perturbed that in recent media interviews, the number one question she's been asked is "How do you make money?" Even when she talks about the value of the community, those remarks get edited out.
Someone pointed out that blogging and twittering are like the 21st century equivalent of 50's moms chatting while they hand clothes out on the line.
Polly: What people get out of blogs is that they don't feel as alon. Conversations online tend to be deeper and different from those in moms' groups. Communication via blogs encourages everyone to think deeper, because they read and take time to think and respond.
Lindsay thought it was interesting that more people are putting their real names on their blogs (whereas a few years ago, moms tended to prefer pseudonyms).
One thing I found interesting about this session was the lack of hostility or defensiveness I felt in the room. It was very different from 2005, or the 2006 session, which seemed almost brutal to me. Instead, the emotion I sensed at this session was one of triumph. No one was debating whether the term "mommy blog" was demeaning or not. The news story in 2008 is the economic power of moms and moms who blog. We've won the battle. Maybe we still don't get the respect we'd like as writers, but there are plenty of respected bloggers who envy the attention and earning potential we've created.
One of the final words came from Liz Gumbiner of Mom101: "The most radical thing for me is there is room for EVERYONE. There's no need to point fingers, we are all here for different reasons and it's all pretty great."
Amen.
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