Friday Funny: No Parent Left Behind

Here's another of those humorous emails my friends and family insist on sending me:

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Now, really, who should be going to school ? ? ?

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district. Spellings have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weeken d with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.
 

Comments

[Sue]

I was laughing my pants off reading today's topic!!! Every time I write, I often stress out about my grammars and spellings. My excuse is English is my second language.

[Carrie S.]

That's just plain sad...but my favorite is 16! (I'm easily humored)(did I spell that right?)

[Florinda]

These e-mails are the last refuge for everyone who hasn't started a blog yet. So they send them to us, and we do the blogging for them! :-) I think I've seen this one before, and it is pretty funny.

I just wonder where the excuse note signed "Epstein's Mother" is.

[Donna]

Hey, Sue - I hate to see the mistakes I'd make in Chinese (that is, if I had the language facility to even learn it!) I'm pretty sure these were all American-born English speakers.

Florinda - LOL at "Epstein's Mother." When I was in high school, I was Epstein's Mother. Or rather, my friend Don would have me sign his excuse notes for him after he cut class. The note was always the same: "Please excuse Don for missing class yesterday. He had to take a Wasserman test."

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wassermann_test )

This of course, left him with a rather unique reputation...