Thanksgiving

So last night, we celebrated Thanksgiving at my sister’s house.

I’ve been a bit stressed about this weekend. As I've written here before, I've been on a very strict weight loss regimen for the last four months, and I've been worried about the havoc this holiday would have on that.

Even more stressful was the prospect of seeing my parents.

I have a long history of weight issues with my mother, who says she watches her weight. I say she’s obsessive. I’m going to leave it at that. Let’s just say that I’ve done the yo-yo diet thing for such a long time that I didn’t want to open up that can of worms. So now, four months after my last visit, I was coming up here nearly 40 pounds lighter. And I didn’t want to talk about it with my mother, which sounds strange, because I’m usually delighted when someone notices that I’m losing weight, but that’s how twisted our relationship is.

“Maybe if I wear a big bulky sweater, she won’t notice,” I said to my husband. He didn’t think that would work.

I was helping my sister out in the kitchen when my parents got to her house, and I spent a lot of the evening maneuvering myself behind counters and tables so she wouldn’t notice.

And it worked. By the time we sat down to dinner, I was more relaxed, because I realized that my mother could not tell that I’d lost five dress sizes since the last time she saw me.

And it irked me.

Because even though I am still overweight, I think forty pounds is kind of a significant amount to lose. How could she NOT notice?

Is it because in her eyes, I am still grossly obese? Or is she just that self-involved? (My sister and husband ruled out the possibility that she might not have said anything out of any sensitivity to my feelings. That’s not in her nature.)

And how twisted am I, that I got what I wanted and I’m still upset about it?

Comments

[Karoli]

This is so interesting! Yesterday at Thanksgiving one of the first things I noticed was my 21-year old niece's dramatic weight loss...we're talkin' size 14 to size 7. Her mom, too.

And for you, it seems like it was almost a winless thing -- either Mom noticed and gave you a hard time about your weight ups and downs or she didn't notice and you got no credit for your hard work.

Maybe she noticed and chose not to make a big deal out of it because she was trying not to hurt your feelings by giving you a hard time about the fluctuations? Or is that my perennial optimist speaking? ;-)

[Lorna]

Of course, it's significant! But it's amazing how led we are by our mother's compass. I noticed in your DWTS post how slim you looked, but because I'd missed a great whack of your posts when my computer decided not to acknowledge you, I wasn't convinced that you hadn't always been so svelte.

[Daisy]

It's a no-win situation when that happens. It's almost like the old saying, "Be careful what you wish for." Ultimately, you're healthy and proud of your accomplishment. That's what matters.