The Monster Has Landed

Now that I've got this new YouTube account, I promise not to abuse it. However, the biggest travel news event in the world occurred in Los Angeles yesterday (as well as New York and Chicago), and I wasn't there to witness it, because I had "better" things to do (i.e., clean my house, which I've neglected the last couple of weeks while taking care of other business, and I think we were at the point of being red tagged by the health department).

The event in question was the maiden US flight of the new Airbus 380, the largest passenger plane ever built. Production delays on this monster (the wingspan is nearly as long as a football field!) have put the European manufacturers in financial jeopardy -- so they had something to prove yesterday with flights to JFK, O'Hare and LAX, where roughly 1,000 spectators showed up to watch -- many recording the event on videotape.

I thought I would test the theory that EVERYTHING ends up on YouTube these days, and I was right -- here's a clip that gives you an idea of how MASSIVE this new airplane is:

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When the Airbus 380 is finally delivered, it will come in two configurations: standard three-class compartments, which will hold 555 passengers -- or all-economy, with a capacity of 853. This plane is not designed for short-haul flights and will likely only land at the world's largest airports. The ones that received it yesterday had to spend millions of dollars reinforcing their landing strips so they could accommodate this thing, and will have to build major upgrades to their terminals before real flight service can begin. (The A380 has two decks, and loading and unloading passengers will require gates that can service both levels.)

One would hope that the plane's designers have given some attention to passenger comfort, and I'm sure they've pulled out all the stops for the first-class compartments. But the majority of air travel is done by those of us flying economy, and in this age of diminishing expectations, it's probably futile to list the things I would like to see down in steerage. But I'm going to do it, anyway:

1. Wider seats and aisles.

Yeah. Like that's ever going to happen in economy. After all, running an airline is a surefire way to lose money. It's a numbers game and the more people you can cram into the cheap seats, the less money you're going to lose.

But it sure would be nice to be able to walk to the lavatory without brushing against other passengers on both sides, or sit in the seat without spilling over into the next one. (OK, I do have to lose weight, but anyplace other than the economy section of an airplane, I can manage to navigate a narrow aisle without hitting anything.)

Health experts advise passengers on long haul flights to get out of their seats regularly and walk. This is the best way to avert deep vein thrombosis. But who wants to do it when every time you try, you are annoying all your fellow passengers? PLEASE -- give us more room!

2. Baby changing tables in the lavatories.

When Megan was in diapers, the 747's we flew to the UK had pulldown changing tables, and they were awesome. I especially appreciated them after one diastrous Southwest flight when the baby developed diarrhea. Ever change a super messy baby's diaper in a teeny tiny airplane lavatory? I do not recommend it.

3. MORE Lavatories.

On our last 11-hour flight from the UK, there were only four lavatories in Economy for 300 passengers (about one per 75). Contrast that with first class and business class, where the ratio is closer to one lavatory for every 15 passengers. It's not too bad except for after the evening meal and the "morning" rush, when all 300 economy class passengers, who have been trying to sleep uncomfortably for the last seven hours, all have to go at once. And they don't just need to do their business -- they want to brush their teeth, do their hair or otherwise freshen up. Imagine how it would be on a planeload of over 800 people.

4. Entertainment consoles in all the seats.

Virgin Atlantic has been providing these for as long as they've been in business. JetBlue's DirecTV is a godsend when flying cross country -- especially if you're taking the kids. A few other airlines (especially international carriers) have caught on -- but it's been slow. This seems like a no-brainer, especially on long haul flights. Make it standard.

4. Power for notebook computers and other electronics.

They are offering this in the upper classes. Give it to the rest of us. Customer demand will make you do at some point anyway. Better to put it in the new planes than have to retrofit them later.

I bet you've got others.

But in the end, any hope I have for larger planes translating into better passenger comfort is probably only a pipe dream. Because to the airlines, we are just cargo. They don't feel that our good money should pay for more than transporting us to our destination. If we want to be comfortable on the ride, they'll make us pony up.

Comments

[Dad Gone Mad]

I personally cannot WAIT for one of these puppies gets starnded on the runway for nine hours (a la Jet Blue)? We'll have 300+ angry passengers throwing dirty diapers, laptop computers and wide seats around like banshees! It's going to look like a scene from Braveheart. Won't that just be so AWESOME!?