George Clooney in Hell

Everyone thinks that TV and movies are the businesses that built Los Angeles - but those of us who live here know that we also rely on real estate. "Location, location, location" is not just a truism for buying a house -- it applies to just about everything here. And if you're looking for a good doctor, there is no better location than Beverly Hills.

I began seeing an OB/Gyn there soon after I started working in "the biz." He came highly recommended by a colleague, and I never looked back. The fact that he was affiliated with Cedars-Sinai Hospital also gave me some confidence -- it's considered one of the best in the city. It's also notorious as being one of the places where the tabloids troll for information on the stars -- it's rumored that some hospital workers are on the Enquirer's payroll for telling tales on the many famous patients who check in there.

In January of 1996, I was seven months pregnant and ready to start childbirth classes at Cedars.

Thge first day of class, our instructor announced that she also did consulting for motion pictures and television (like, in L.A., who doesn't?) And if anyone was interested in being an extra on "E.R.," to see her after class -- they were looking for pregnant women to be on the show.

At this time it had been five years since my last TV gig, and I thought it might be fun. (I mean, how hard could it be?) I had just finished a grueling month at work, culminating in an 80-hour work week at a convention I'd planned in Anaheim that included a banquet for 600 people (for which my husband was furious at me: "You're pregnant!" he bellowed over the phone -- as if I wasn't already painfully aware of that).

So I was certain I would be allowed to take a couple of days off to whet my old Hollywood appetite. Not only did it sound like fun, but my boss was a big fan of the show and I knew he'd get a kick out of any inside stories I could give him. On top of that, I'd get a whopping $50 a day. Before taxes.

"Can you come in on both Thursday and Friday?" asked the folks at Central Casting (yes, such a place actually exists).

I had no trouble at all finding the parking lot early Thursday morning (after all, it was just across the way from where I used to park at NBC). The only thing I knew about the episode they were filming was that there would be a lot of women in labor. Figuring that such a creature wouldn't have the time to make herself look pretty in the middle of the night, I showed up in my most comfortable (i.e., ratty) maternity clothes and no make-up. I was the only pregnant extra to do so.

We were sent to Wardrobe, where we were given hospital gowns to wear for the rest of the day. (Lovely!) One of the pregnant extras, a beautiful 18-year-old, was in her ninth month -- and it was determined that she didn't look pregnant enough. So she was given a pregnancy pad to enhance her bulge -- and she spent the rest of the day complaining that she couldn't feel her baby under it.

(However, they did determine that I, at seven months, DID look like I was about to pop. So no extra padding was necessary...)

We were then sent back to one of the soundstages where the show was filmed. Behind the elaborate hospital set was an area with five rows of chairs (I'm just gonna call that the bullpen). This is where we spent most of the day, just waiting for our calls.

And wait we did. I had forgotten how truly boring TV production can be when you are not one of the staff or crew. My boss at the Tonight Show used to describe the work as "hurry up and wait." When it's your turn to do something, you have to snap to it... but the rest of the time, you're just hanging around...

I surveyed the other folks sitting in the bullpen with me. Besides the other preggos were some ordinary looking folks who were there as other patients, visitors, etc. There was also a petite, painfully thin woman with a baby carriage built for three. Turns out that just three months prior, she had given birth to triplets (!) and her babies were going to play twin newborns in this episode. I hated her immediately.

I spent most of the day just talking to the other extras -- otherwise known as "background" or "atmosphere" (not all of whom were pregnant). Occasionally, we were allowed to get up to hit up the craft services table (I had forgotten how much food was around in production. I eyed the coffee cart hungrily -- I was looking forward to the day when I could have caffeine again). Bathroom breaks were another matter -- you had to ask the Assistant Director to get permission to leave the soundstage, and he was hard to find. You would have thought they would make some allowances for a stage full of extremely pregnant ladies, but this is not something they had thought about. It was going to be a very long day, in more ways than one.

Some of the them expressed surprise to discover that we really were pregnant and not wearing extra padding (all except that 18-year-old). "Authenticity is important here," explained the Assistant Director assigned to watch over the background pool. "When the script calls for gang bangers, the casting folks go down to East L.A. and get real gang bangers. We make them check their weapons at the door; we are all friends in here," he said.

They distributed some "sides" - the script pages that were being shot that day. (The producers typically spent four to five days shooting a one-hour episode, out of sequence. The scenes that day involved Doctors Ross, Green and Weaver, as well as Jeanie Boulet. Actress Amy Aquino was also on hand in her recurring role as a hospital OB/GYN -- and Lindsay Crouse, an actress I'd always admired, was making a guest appearance as a pregnant doctor with cancer. The rest of the cast had the day off.

This episode dealt with a fire sprinkler malfunction in the maternity ward, forcing all the patients there down into the E.R. From the pages I could see, it looked like it would be a pretty good show.

At some point that morning, I got selected to be in a scene. I was led to a wheelchair, where I was instructed to sit while another extra wheeled me through the hallway into one of the hospital rooms. (Because some of the scenes were shot with a camera that could rotate 360 degrees, there weren't as many false walls on this set as in others I'd seen -- this one had real hallways and real doors that led into real rooms.)

Anyway, that's all I had to do. The sequence lasted about one second on the screen. However, they then went right into a scene where Dr. Ross and a nurse discuss the newborn twins (two of the triplets I'd met back in the bullpen). This scene took place behind my back in the room where I'd been wheeled just off camera. And because for some reason or another they had to re-do it... again... and again... so did the bit where I was wheeled through the hall.

I sat in that wheelchair a long, long time while the actors tried to get the scene right. The problem culminated when one of the babies started to cry. They decided to replace him with one of his sisters. It was quiet for a minute -- until the two remaining babies began crying, too.

"I'm in hell," remarked confirmed bachelor George Clooney, who apparently wasn't as fond of children as his pediatrician character. Somehow, the scene was finished and I returned to the bullpen.

Some time later, we were given the opportunity to take a bathroom break. I waddled over to the soundstage door and heard a familiar voice behind me: "Excuse me, sweetheart." Yeah, I was blocking Mr. Clooney, who also needed to take a break. It was the most exciting moment of the day.

There were two kinds of extras on the E.R. set -- those (like me) who were standing in as patients and were basically day players... and the ones who portrayed other members of the hospital staff. These people were (almost) as much a part of the E.R. cast as the stars -- theirs was a full-time gig. I got to talking with one of them -- a sweet young thing who had grown up in Bakersfield of all places. Like everyone else, she was surprised to discover that we were all really pregnant -- and was concerned that we were being treated like every other extra off the street. She talked to the AD about allowing us more breaks, and kept asking me if I wanted her to bring me some water (I was pregnant but mobile, so no, I didn't need her to do that -- but it was so nice that someone showed that concern).

The production broke for lunch and I was sprung from the soundstage for about a half hour. There aren't too many places you can go in that time, so I made my way (still in my hospital gown!) to the commissary and grabbed myself some lunch.

The afternoon stretched on. Why hadn't I brought any reading material with me? Or at least a notebook so I could jot down my thoughts about this (I remember thinking it would have made a great behind-the-scenes article for TV Guide).

Eventually, I got called to be in another scene. Sort of. Because this time, I was to lie down in a hospital bed in the room adjacent to the room where the episode's climactic scene was taking place. This is because that rotating camera might pick up bits and pieces through the hospital door windows, and as the script called for the E.R. to be filled with patients, they didn't want anyone to see an empty bed.

This was probably the best part of the day -- I was tired and probably would have gone right to sleep, except for all the noise the actors were making in the next room. Lindsay Crouse's character was in a hard, difficult labor and it was likely that even if she survived, she would die anyway from the cancer.

They replayed the scene over... and over... and over... and finally, it sounded like they were getting it right. Crouse was "pushing" and making all the appropriate grunting noises -- the "baby" was coming out...

...and then, Clooney (who had the reputation as the joker on the set) made the noise of a huge fart. The cast and crew all busted up. They had to do the scene again... but everyone seemed in high spirits.

It was 10:00 p.m. before they called it a day. The AD asked me if I would be returning the next morning. I had planned on it, but had not thought that sitting around all day would be so exhausting. I passed. I pretty much stayed in bed the following day.

This was a turning point for me, because until that day, I had harbored a dream of someday returning to a job in the entertainment industry, and I realized it would never be. There is a reason that the people working there are predominantly young -- it is simply not a family-friendly environment. (Not that any business is -- but in production, the hours are long and at the level I worked, the benefits were few).

The show aired just a couple of weeks after it was filmed. Gareth and I watched and I pointed to the screen when I got wheeled through the hall. It was so fast that he didn't see me. I was glad, because I looked awful.

A few years later, I caught the episode again in reruns and I couldn't find myself.

Comments

[jen]

Wow!

LOVED it!

And now I totally have to rent that episode and see if I can see you.

[jen]

You need to develop a series of these posts and submit them to Salon.com to the life section. They'd eat them up!

[Laurie]

You know I'm a sucker for your show business stories and this one with George Clooney! Oh my!

[Ella]

This was a wonderful peek inside a very glamorous industry. Nothing in the UK even comes close to the idea of being in ER, possibly one of the best shows ever.

[Lorna]

At least ER did not have Johnny Depp---if so, I would be the person lurking by your front door, waiting to be the person who met the person who was asked to be excused by Johnny Depp. Good story.

[lomara]

I see I'll have to browse your archives for other fu Hollywood stories!

[Jilly]

How exciting, I bet it was worth all that sitting around!

Came over via Sarah's blog.

[Natalie]

Hey Donna,

Hope things are going well for you. Wow that was a very interesting read, didn't know you've done a lot of tv work. Sarah my sister has done some extra shots in a film or two. Mmm but ER and Clooney, that would be something even I would love. :)

Hope your having a great week.
Take Care.

[Tawny]

Wow, what an interesting story. You wrote it so well!!! TV guide would have loved this :)