This year is flying by.
Yes, I know it's only January 7. But I managed to get a lot done this first week of the year - despite the fact that my work week didn't start until Tuesday, and I wasted that day in a Vicodin-induced haze, thanks to my stupid mishap with my car door:
1. I finished a long, complicated post for AskPatty, which had been eluding me since early December. (I owe them two more December posts that I, in a mild kind of OCD, felt unable to start until I finished the first one. I plan to get these other two posts done this week).
2. I managed to actually meet a deadline for CBS Los Angeles. I was really afraid I wouldn't.
3. I had set up an DMV appointment on Wednesday morning to get my daughter her learner's permit, only realizing on Monday that it coincided with my weekly podcast with the MOMocrats. Fortunately, we have a deep bench, and my partners Cynematic and Karoli were able to carry on without me. And I even managed to call in to the show from the DMV while the kid was taking her written exam.
4. Cyn and I have been working feverishly to move the MOMocrats blog from Typepad to Wordpress, and have a sparkling new version of the site in Beta at MOMocrats.com - just in time for the Iowa caucus. We're still tweaking it, but we're happy with the direction it's taking. (Now, I need to make the time to move THIS blog, too.)
5. I spent 2011 despairing about my weight. I went back on Lindora during the first quarter and was shocked to discover that it didn't work as well as it did in 2007, when I lost 56 pounds. I can handle living on 600-800 calories a day as long as I'm getting results, but it's frustrating to do that and lose a measly 10 pounds.
The only difference I can think of between now and then is that I hadn't yet gone through menopause, which makes a woman's metabolism slow down even worse than it does in her 30's and 40's. (Yet another reason to dread the effects of getting older.)
In June, I decided to try a different tack: I went vegan. My husband changed his diet, too. He lost weight, his cholesterol dropped, and he feels generally great.
I loved giving up the crappy tasting diet food out of packages for fresh fruits and vegetables. But I can't wave a magic wand and change my body type or metabolism, and plant based proteins also contain too many carbohydrates for me. I gained weight while being a vegan.
So I dropped the vegan diet, but was at a loss as to what to do next. I've been on so many weight-control plans over the last 40 years that I no longer have a clue what to eat without looking at a game plan. I spent the last four months of the year eating whatever was around.
The result is that I am now 30 pounds heavier than I was in June. This is very rapid weight gain for me (all my life, aside from when I was pregnant, I never gained more than 10 pounds in an entire year - to gain 30 pounds in six months is frighteningly rapid). I suppose this is my payback for losing weight so rapidly five years ago.
I feel like Cinderella after her ballgown has turned back to rags and her coach is once again a pumpkin. I was happy to have my slender body back and am furious at myself for being in this place again.
I'm at a loss for what to do next, so I'm trying EVERYTHING. My friends Amy and Donna have been trying to convince me to try the 17 Day Diet (and they even gave me a copy of the book). My first full day at home was Tuesday, but I smashed my thumb before I had a chance to get to the supermarket to buy the fresh fruits and vegetables I need to do this. So I began it on Wednesday.
So far, I'm having a hard time sticking with it (mainly because I keep running out of vegetables and with the bad thumb, I need to rely on my family to help me with cooking and cleaning and getting that help is also a lot of work).
Changing the diet is the least of my worries. I need to resume workouts at the gym, and that is always the hardest part for me, because nothing is ever going to make me ENJOY it. Everything has to be JUST RIGHT for me to fit daily workouts into my schedule, and that hasn't been the case this week.
I met the amazing Leah Segedie of Mamavation last month, and told her about my never ending struggle. I considered applying for her boot camp this month, but after reading the requirements for this month's two week challenge, I decided I'm still not ready. Especially with my thumb, which may turn out to be my latest excuse that keeps on giving (like I'm afraid menopause is turning out to be).
6. My poor, immobilized thumb is healing slowly and I lost some sleep on Thursday because my husband thinks I'm going to lose the nail (and for some reason, that freaks me out more than the sight of it turning black). So after realizing yesterday was Friday, I finally decided to see my doctor (because I didn't want to find myself wasting precious weekend time in an emergency room or urgent care).
She thinks I may have fractured a bone. An X-ray would confirm that, but since the only thing you can do for a broken finger is to put it in a splint, we both didn't think it necessary to get one. She said that even if it's not broken, the splint would help the swelling go down, so we got me one. She also gave me another prescription for Vicodin. So I'm set for a while.
The worst part of the doctor visit was when I had to get on the scale and have my blood pressure taken. Four years ago, they expressed concern that I had lost so much weight so quickly. Now, they are pointing out that my weight is too high (here's a tip: You NEVER need to tell me I have a weight problem. I already know, and pointing it out to me just makes me feel angry and defensive).
I have an appointment with my ob/gyn this month to find out exactly what menopause has done to my body ("It's every dieter's wish that she has a thyroid problem," my sister sniffed when I told her I'd heard menopause causes thyroid problems. Which also didn't help.)
We shall see.
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